poisonedgrace: (Default)
[personal profile] poisonedgrace
 For the first time ( think) in years, I had a kung fu dream last night.  I used to have them somewhat regularly.  Maybe having one again is a sign that my body is getting healed from my spinal issues?

In the dream, I was at a school, but as usual in school dreams, I didn't really know where I was supposed to be, or what I was supposed to be doing.  Only in this one, instead of the usual losing and being bullied and afraid...  In this one, I was doing well anyhow.  My grades were fine, my social interactions were respectable, and when I got bullied, I shut that shit down.  With kung fu.

I guess I can't remember much of the narrative...  I remember being in a science class, and having a lab partner.  I remember being out front, after school, teaching some really nerdy sad kid how to punch.  I remember being attacked and defending myself, and not even being scared or concerned, but remaining calm, confident, and in control.  I remember some guy turned into two crazy alien monsters. and the guy part fell to the ground, and both alien monsters came to fight me.  I still stayed calm and dealt with it.
 It was a very confident dream, in spite of how crazy it sounds.

Kind of nervously approaching the weekend.  Like I said, that's when things usually spike bad.  I am going to try to be at least a little patient.  I know that when feeling cornered, I can sometimes be a little to pro-active in "defending myself" ("He's going to retaliate first."), and 

I don't want to do that.  I want to be sure that things are off the rails before I disassemble the whole thing.  It sucks to be in a position where you feel that eventuality is such a solid given, that it's not even "if" anymore, it's just "when".

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