poisonedgrace: (Default)
It's funny...

There are those defining moments where you can literally feel, hear, and see something alter.
Like life comes equipped, in that moment, with some cinematic quality special effect.
I'm not sure I can even adequately describe it, but I've experienced it.

I remember the time that, in spite of my almost infinite patience with you, you deliberately destroyed, defiled, and defaced my art, while making a mockery of my values and ideals.  I knew that I would never again see you the same way.

I remember the time that, in spite of my almost infinite stupidity over you, you finally said something that blasted through all of my ideals, all of my memories, all of my hopes and fears, and I knew... absolutely knew, in the core of my being, that you were not, in any way, shape, or form, even remotely the same person whom I had given my time to.  I knew that I would never again see you the same way.

I remember the time that, in spite of my almost infinite curiosity and interest in you, you genuinely took me for a fool in a most unusual, blatant and thoroughly insulting manner.  You mistook my kindness and willingness to assist someone in a bad place as a cluelessness and weakness.  I know a drug deal when I see one, and after you attempted to play me for an idiot, I knew that I would never again see you the same way.

I remember the time that, in spite of my granting almost infinite allowances for things not being right, not with myself, nor with you, you, thought that hurting me, lying to me and repeating the same behaviour over and over was acceptable.  You thought that I was someone who casually throws around terms and concepts like "last chance".  You could have hurt me in any other way, and I would have kept taking it, but instead you hurt me over the same thing yet again.  In the many fall out conversations that we had there was a lot of talk about growth and healing.  I remember telling you right after that Last Chance that any possibility of any future growth would be contingent on that healing, and that any further intrusion of That Same Thing Yet Again would always be Death.  I remember when I predicted that it would come to pass.  I remember waiting to see.  I remember learning that my prediction was right.    I knew that I would never again see you the same way.

I remember the time that, in spite of my almost infinite youthful hope over you, you used any and all force you could muster to intimidate, manipulate, and brutalize a child.  You under appreciated my resourcefulness and inquisitiveness, and your story was revealed to me.  I remember my sense of frustration, insult and shame.   I knew that I would never again see you the same way.

Over all, I cant ever see realization, or awakening as a bad thing.
Once that click happens, and you see someone for not only 'who they are' but for 'what they are willing to do to you' there is a certain peace that accompanies it.

I'm sure if I really put my mind around it, I could come up with several more instances similar to this.
I even know of one right off of my head, but I've never actually spoken in quantifiable terms about The Topic, save to a very limited number of people irl, so that's not going to happen here.

But anyhow, this is just mental goo, flowing out of my brain into the toilet of my blog because it helps my sea level go down.
poisonedgrace: (faces)
i'm like an atom smasher
except instead of atoms and particles colliding inside of me, it's emotions.
they whip around faster and faster until two or more of them slam into each other.
there results an explosion.

she lives in her own world.
a world of her making.
she sees this world through tainted lenses.

she can't read me.
thinking i'm mad when i'm not.
she doesn't know herself.
can't tell the difference between a thing that is good and positive, and a thing that is bad and rancid.

she can't make the simple choices that we all take for granted.
she wants to be left alone and saved, all at the same time.

i'm caught in the storm of trying to do both things.

i can pour myself out. i can bleed myself dry.
i can spend all the love in the world on her.
all my attention. all my soul. all my tears.

"but none of that means anything to me..."

how do i make it?
how do i prove it?

it's not even her fault. it's not anyone's fault.
well... no one currently, and directly involved.
it IS someone's fault. more than one someone.
but that's another story.

i make speeches that would move the world.
my eyes tell the stories of a thousand starry wells.
my heart and soul, like spring and summer, would melt the snow from glacial peaks.

but does it mean anything where i need it to?
is it enough to get me a phone call tomorrow?
is it enough so that i don't spend monday alone?



_________
Moonlight kisses the shore,
Yet she refuses to hold me.
A somber wind carries the hushed echos
Of two sick children,
Pale feet caked with sand,
Ghastly in the ashen glow.

The tide of circumstance,
Weightier than ourselves -
I turn to her
And she retreats.

Onyx surf breaks on her tattered hem.
Bewitched by the interminable ocean,
She trembles.
Briefly, she leans into me
And I put my arm around her.

With the harsh cry of a gull
This fleeting image is shattered.
I pause as she moves down the beach.
Her pale feet are washed clean
As I follow, wondering
If torment can eventually run words dry
____________

but even this.... even with all this i am thankful for a chance...
poisonedgrace: (fade switch)
i sit and stare as i watch my life fall apart.

these entries will prolly be different now.
they may stop all together, i don't know yet.

some things can't be helped or changed and they have to be a certain way...
other things, i just don't understand.

i am trying to be strong.
i don't want to sway or trap...
but sometimes it feels like all my guts are being ripped out of my body with a dull rusty cake mixer through a jagged cut in my soul...

it's strange...
things that are so important and meaningful to one person, can be something completely different to another.

i believe that given the chance i can make almost anything happen.
i dunno if i'll be given the chance.

i keep telling myself over and over that i shouldn't cry....
that i am a good guy....
it's ironic to try so hard to not cry because crying upsets the person who in essence is upsetting you...

"Bitter and lonely, those they've left before.
The vibrant heart so quickly growing old,
The warmest eyes so quickly growing cold.
Just a glance for they don't care to see
What becomes of me."



all i can do is wait...
wait and hope....
if for nothing than a little time....
time to prove it...

because i can.
poisonedgrace: (faces)
again, i'm late, and it will be brief.

i was out of town (trying to mend myself) from sunday afternoon, until wednesday evening.

this wednesday was full of important discussions and lots of tears.

maybe i'm not the good person i'd like to be.
maybe i am, but maybe just not all the time.

maybe i'm a bitter, broken, useless old man.
i swing from thinking i'm too good, to thinking i'll never be good enough.

maybe i AM too good in some ways... and not so good in others.

i know what i want, but i don't know how to get it.
maybe i should edit everything i am inside until i'm just not me anymore... or until i don't want anything anymore :(

haha but i don't want to do that. maybe that makes a strange circle...

there are things in this world that just kill me a little each time i experience them.
poisonedgrace: (fade switch)
i'm so late in this.
so very late. i haven't had a chance 'til now.

there's not a lot i can say.

we went to the creepy fleamarket. we went to the movies after.

i was feeling the whole time as if i was slowly breaking and falling to dust...
poisonedgrace: (blurry - red)
what a strange week.

this wednesday came on tuesday.
and it was the longest wednesday so far.

there was a lot of talking. i think it helped everyone a lot.

there was some food at a crazy place.

but even as nice as it was to spend so much time...
...there was the part where we got home, and my ferret was dead.
he was old, (and not in the best of health) so i knew it was coming.

so yeah. i don't have a lot to write about this time. i did, but that just kinda drained it from me. that, and being out digging holes in the dead of night isn't too much fun.

Nigel was in his cage with him. he could come in and out. they played together a lot and were really good friends. i think he was really confused about what was going on.. how do you explain death to a genet?
when i let him out this morning, the first thing he did was go looking for his friend.


it does stand to put your "problems" in a little better perspective i guess.
i mean, hell, it could be me who is dead sometime soon. you never can tell.

that's something to keep in mind.

Karbunkl was the very best ferret i've ever known. ferrets who will snuggle with you can be pretty few and far between.

i've got to try to take my mind off of it now.

no one is here with me, and it makes me miss them so much.
poisonedgrace: (blurry - red)
maybe none of you will never understand, until it is too late.


"And that must end us, that must be our cure,
To be no more; sad cure; for who would loose,
Though full of pain, this intellectual being,
Those thoughts that wander through Eternity,

To perish rather, swallowd up and lost
In the wide womb of uncreated night,
Devoid of sense and motion? and who knows,
Let this be good, whether our angry Foe
Can give it, or will ever? how he can
Is doubtful; that he never will is sure.

Will he, so wise, let loose at once his ire,
Belike through impotence, or unaware,
To give his Enemies their wish, and end
Them in his anger, whom his anger saves
To punish endless? wherefore cease we then?

Say they who counsel War, we are decreed,
Reserv'd and destin'd to Eternal woe;
Whatever doing, what can we suffer more,
What can we suffer worse?"


believe it or not...
i am simple.
i am traditional.
simple things keep me here.
and i need them.
i can not live with out them.

i have laid my soul,
atom to atom,
bare,
like the flesh and wax creations of Fragonard.
i have done this more times
than you or i
can begin to imagine
once for each molecule
would begin to tame such a number.

yet here i am...
wrangling with the creature.
unconsoled. unrestrained.
weary from my efforts.
it's getting dark soon...

and this time...
i don't know if i'm going inside to shutter the windows.
i don't know if i can.
i fear no one will lead me.



i always thought that thirteen was a nice number. i never believed that it was "unlucky". i'm not going to say much else right now. it's not even over yet. today was terrible too.
poisonedgrace: (faces)
came after a good week.
(why am i so slow with the updating?)

we got off to an early start. early is nice. i wish it worked out so perfectly every time!

CutThroat and i had a surprise for Jigsaw. But she forgot it, and had to run back and get it. then finally we sat in the car, and Jigsaw opened her package.
we dot her a buncha new pez dispensers she didn't have yet. she hadn't even seen them yet, so it was funny to watch her freak out and get all excited. that makes well over 200 that she has now.

after that, we went to go eat.

i love it when you tell them "non-smoking section" so they sit you ONE BLOODY SEAT over from it. and i don't mean that they put the poisoners in a special room, and sit you near there... oh no. i mean, that there's this portion of the place, separated only by a short wall, maybe 6 and a half feet tall, and even then, it has lots of openings in it, since it was made of glass bits and wood and holes and stuff. so of course all the smoke rises and drifts around, and at that point, you might as well be in the same room as the poisoners.
so we weren't having that. we got moved to the other side.

Jigsaw and CutThroat were talking about aroma therapy and that kinda stuff. smells and scents and oil and what have you. it turned very funny when Jigsaw said something about pachouli. CutThroat, in her asianness replied with "What is Patch Oh Li?" as though it were three things, or as though it were ment to be said as it were. for some reason it cracked me up.

then there was the part where CutThroat informed us that Jigsaw was "on the edge". she ment on the edge of the booth seat they were sharing. but it was funnier to misconstrue it and pretend that she was the kinda on the edge that involved madness and violence. so then Jigsaw snarled and pretended to be crazy and all those kind of things. that was good fun.

we were blessed with a table full of drunken sorority girls behind me. they were loud and stupid and obnoxious. one of them, with expensive clothes, and easily a 300 dollar designer purse was on about how poor she was. that kinda made me wanna smash her skull and feast on the bite sized morsel within. they saw a family in the restaraunt get free desert because it was a birthday, so they concocted a plan to do the same. they worked it out amongst themselves, then lied and said it was one of their birthdays, and got their free desert. the waiter asked how old she was today and she said "........ummmmm........ 18!" she was obviously more like 23. and a fairly haggard and used up 23 at that. you know the look. way too many substances had been crashing about in her system for way to long, so she had that look.... if you don't know that look, than i can't describe it here....

after the bulk of dinner, the girls demonstrated how fast and sharklike they could devour celery sticks. i was both impressed and frightened.

and of course there was the bowl fiasco. we're like some kinda sick animals.... i swear... we can't eat anywhere amongst polite company anymore. we have Jigsaw with celery chunks flying, and wild-eyed on-the-edge mayhem, and CutThroat with a to go box filled with bowls. after we leave, places must feel the combination of angst and relief that people used to feel after they were visited by pirates or gypsies. strange though... because we're pretty quiet and have plenty of manners. we keep out foolery to ourselves.

after that, we went back, as we usually do, to sit and talk for a little while. we get such a small amount of time on wednesdays, but i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. it's always warm and good and snugly and.... just perfect.

before the night was over, we had to go where Jigsaw could see CutThroat's "sunshine buddy" that i bought her. it's this strange little... thing that is powered by light. like a calculator. only it's like this weird thing that looks kinda like an aquatic kodama (those little white tree spirit things from Princess Mononoke / Mononoke Hime) or something. it's kinda fat and round, and it sits on a green chob of plastic grass, and it has a little friend it snuggles with. when it's in the light, it moves it's head back and forth from one shoulder to the other. it has a big grin, and spots on it's belly. it's really cute and cool, in an absolutely creepy way. and yeah, it's called a "sunshine buddy" on the package. weird. but CutThroat fell in love with it at the store, so i had to get it for her.

i left a couple of DVDs on her bed before we left. she'll have something to do when she's bored and sick of homework. a little James and the Giant Peach and Edward Scissorhands never hurt anyone. she walked us down, and it's always so very sad to have to go....




i decided this time, to make the post very straight forward and actually descriptive, instead of the way i usually make them. it's just the mood i'm in. i'm prolly not starting a new trend or anything.
poisonedgrace: (blurry - red)
a dozen saturdays. that's hard to imagine.

she tells me we're a third of the way through. i like that.

today there was supposed to be a picnic.
but there was the part where the weather ruined it.

instead, we went downtown, and looked at stupid stuff for a long time.
parking there is a nightmare.

we had nasty dinner.
lol

then we eventually came back home.

i'm sorry that this one isn't beautiful and poetic and what all.
i'm completely drained.
i'm exhausted.

i had an episode...

i don't know if i'm even over it yet.
i've cried more tears tonight than God dares count.

i dunno.
i'm probably absolutely stupid, but i still think everything will work out.
it has to.

she told me beautiful things.
she told me everything i needed to hear.
i just wish she could have stayed longer.

i hope she told me those things because they're true.
not just because i needed to hear it.
but i know...
i know she means it...

i'm just beating myself up right now...
here, in the wired, to try to distract myself from myself...

but yeah...
maybe i shouldn't have made this post 'til i'm in a better place...
but even how i feel right now... it's not bad.... really...

because even now, i have this faith.
this hope.
so i don't so much mind if this seems like a sad entry.
maybe it is.... maybe it isn't.

life is made of all things, happy and sad.
and we need it all.

and i know i am loved.
even if sometimes i feel like pieces of me are dieing.
i know it'll all be ok somehow.

she finally told me 'forever' and ment it.
that's worth a lot to me.
poisonedgrace: (faces)
this day started early for me. in secret. alone. i took care of some things.

then i had a very nervous time waiting and waiting. and being nervous.
then, it developed into

the. best. day. ever.
seriously....

we were early. and that's never a bad thing. the earlier the better.

Jigsaw pulled a sneaky, and tried to hide from us in the parking lot.
she is the absolute worst hider in the history of people who have tried to hide from other people. then she invented fanciful tales about almost everything for the rest of the evening.

CutThroat and i put a stop to it by turning it around on her. we invented even crazier tales and teamed up on her. that put a kink in her fooley tricks in a hurry.

we had a nice dinner.
then there was the part when we got back to the car, and i reminded them of the few questions that i had asked them separately, earlier.

they reconfirmed their good will.

then i told them that they would have to be brave, and outgoing, and from the heart, because this wednesday would hopefully be one of the most important days of their lives. then i told them we weren't going where they thought we were.

i gave driving directions to a place none of us had ever been.
i had 2 backup places in case the first one didn't work out.

there was the part where the first one didn't work out.
so we tried a different one. and found it.

i wonder what they were thinking when we pulled up to a cemetery in the dead of night....

there was plenty of from the heart.
everyone got all choked up.
it was the nicest thing i've ever been involved with.

by the time we left the cemetery, everyone was everyone else's wife.

i'm just going to stop here, because i can't do the night any kind of justice.
any faltering words i try to ascribe to such an event can only fall short.

but yeah....
the best day ever.
poisonedgrace: (luffy falls)
(i'm sure you're all waiting for the halloween update... it'll show up, eventually... when i manage to collect my thoughts)

you know it's a good day when upon waking, you see everything you care about within arm's reach. you can't beat that at all.

after that, there was a lot of waiting. during the waiting, i picked up CutThroat's dirty habit, and i stole her a little bowl.

Jigsaw and i conceived a secret plot! a surprise for later in the evening.

so when CutThroat came back we implemented out surprise. we teased her a bit, and wouldn't tell her where we were going. when it was time to go, we got in the car and went. she still didn't know.

we went downtown to a theatre where they were having a 1 week showing of The Nightmare Before Christmas
she was pleasantly surprised.
we got our tickets, but we had about 30 or 45 minutes to kill before it started.

then.... there was the part with the pez dispensers....

Jigsaw collects pez dispensers. she has well over 200 of them.
we went into this little shop with candy and junk and stuff, and they had a bunch of pez dispensers that she didn't have. 20 minutes, and about 35 dollars later, she had them.

we eventually went into our movie. it's nice to see one of your favourite movies on the big screen (i saw it back when it first came out, because i'm old, but in general i mean).

there was a lot of pez talk between the girls before, and after the movie.
so we ended up rushing home, and they got out all the pez dispensers and put them in piles and went through them and chronicled them and made lists and all sorts of strange stuff.
i just kinda just sat around.

they had a really wonderful time together, and it did my heart good to see such love.

it was a good saturday. it was made even better by it's simplicity.
it's nice to know that it's a model for what the rest of our lives can be like.

beautiful in it's simplicity
it leaves a lasting impression
forming a pattern
that we can follow for all our days

i think that a good respect for your own mortality, and the fragility of everything....
every life...
every situation...
can help you to live a good life.
the kind of life that you can attempt to share with the people most important.

god, i'm a sap.
*hangs head in sappy shame*
poisonedgrace: (upside-down me)
i keep gettin later and later about making these updates. hopefully that will be better now that halloween is over, and i'm not so rushed to do things.

it's sad. it's been so long since this day, and i've been through so much, that i can't remember as much about it as i'd like to. :(

this particular wednesday was super rushed for time. it was short and late, and later.

but we had time.
there weren't any bowls to steal.

the most important part is that after dinner, we talked and talked.
and it was nice.
and it mattered.
as it should.


there was the part where we stayed up 'til 3 in the morning to write an english paper....
poisonedgrace: (faces)
what can i say about this whole weekend? (except that this post is very late, and possibly still unfinished but since it's wednesday, i can't wait any longer)

friday, there was good food and fun and stuff.
Jigsaw was honest, and didn't steal the shrimp.
CutThroat wasn't quite as noble, and stole another bowl.
so it balances out. heh.

there was the part where i was cleaning up the food that had been spilled in the hallway, and the nice girl said that i was a "good guy" (and i AM after all...).

even it it's on the floor, it's a good way to sleep.


the actual saturday part had adventures.

there was a haunted house with a twisty hallway that made us all suddenly weigh over a thousand pounds each.

there was a measure of disbelief at the world's smallest woman.
and i'm not sure how those little 3D hologram guys worked.
the Guiness Records Museum is an odd place. not as exciting as i had hoped over all.

there was food by the river. it's nice. even though it's a man made river.

there was a stop by the mall to get the smelly stuff, because one can't stand to see the other do without anything. and it works both ways. it's cute.


there were movies, and left-overs (prepared in a fussy housewife manner that really made me giggle) and a late night trip to the grocery (where i was being looked out for, and i didn't even know it).

and it's still a good way to sleep.
i dreamed about swords. it was nice. then i woke up, and was sad because it was just a dream.

sunday started out sad, because it was so late, then we realized that we forgot about daylight savings time, and we had a whole 'nother hour for free. that was nice. we had breakfast, and then didn't do anything at all. just sat, and talked, and it was good.


even after 3 days, it still ends too son.
and i feel certain that eternity,
should i live that long,
will not even have enough days.

but we don't get eternity...
no one does.
we get a scattered number of days.
we must make of them what we can.
what we will.
we get days.
maybe hours.
maybe even minutes.

the end of our time isn't marked.
there's no glaring beacon to warn us.
we are generally taken unawares.

don't wait 'til you can see the end to make it count.
that's to waste your entire life.
make every moment matter.
remember as much as you can.
relish the small things.

because that's all your life is.
all any of our lives are.
a collection of small things,
melded into medium bits,
that swirl into large chunks,
that make the total of our lives.

"Revel in your time."
poisonedgrace: (faces)
it seems like it's all one strange blur in my mind now...

we went... we ate... we talked...

i was as unprepared as it's possible to be...
and i stayed.

i had to buy a toothbrush, and pajamas and stuff...
but i stayed.

i'm the best good luck charm in the world.
because of the part where all classes were canceled and grades of 100+ were received.

i came back for a night. then we'll all be staying.

a wednesday, and i stayed...
and nobody had any clue.

heh.
poisonedgrace: (faces)
this one started on friday. nice and early!
woke up at 6 am with CutThroat and headed south.
i attended a college politics class. it really made me miss school and hope that i can go back someday. even if the class was kinda boring because the teacher was a moron. i voted on things for the class. i raised my hand for questions and stuff and i signed the role sheet (i signed it "Jack Rackham") and no, i am not a student at that school. never been there before. that's what makes it funny. then i waited in the hallway while a test was taken. i was a good luck charm. she made a 101 on the test :)

there were some errands and such, then i discouvered that i accidently had Jigsaw's driver's license in my wallet. i had been hanging on to it thursday night for her, and she had forgotten to get it back. we were alarmed, because she had a big drive to make friday evening! we called her, and hurried with all our might to meet her and give it over, so that she would be good for her trip. we succeeded.

Jigsaw spent the ninth saturday being out of town for the weekend, and being sick on top of that. :(
so CutThroat and I continued our own adventures.

we went shopping! (and stuff)

there was the part at hobby lobby where the pre-schooler said very loudly "MOMMY! LOOK! SHE'S A PIRATE!"
if that doesn't do your heart right, nothin' will.

we bought lace, and went in search of other things we're gonna need for halloween costumes and stuff.

i bought the material i'm going to need. and later, the makeup. there was more shopping. mostly just the wanting of things, rather than real shopping. no money does that to you...

instead of buy things, we ate food. we can afford that at least. and that's what counts.

then we went home.

such a base outline can't do the images in my head... the ferrets in my heart... or the memories in my soul any form of justice.
but those things are there. and i have them. and no matter who knows what, or how the world ends, i'll keep them.
poisonedgrace: (animated hair)
the seventh wednesday fell on thursday.
i am getting more and more used to wednesday moving around.

it was not the typical wednesday.
but that's ok some times.

over all, everything went fine.

it all revolved around something specific that does not belong in this post.
so this time, there may not be much to say here...
an odd necessity holds my tongue.....


there was some free ice cream that wasn't really ice cream.
there were eggrolls with no skins. creepy little things.

there was the part where our house had no air conditioning and it was egg cookingly hot. so that made for some sitting infront of the fan.


soon, every day will be it's own version of wednesday.
what a perfect world it will be...
poisonedgrace: (faces)
this saturday proved to be long.
but they can never be long enough.
sometimes you throw out all the questions and go for something you care about, debt or no...

it was a lovely sunny day when we set out. i brought my sunbrella. we had planned to do things "out".
on the way it started raining, and never completely stopped until we went home when it was all said and done.


there was "boing! boing! boing! thunk!"

there was the valuable lesson we learned:: "if we can see it, we can drive to it."
we tried applying that lesson all weekend. sometimes it worked better than other times.

there was the part where i used my sunbrella to keep the rain away. interesting.


there was the part where a small child wandered over... while his hideous mother was on the cell phone, letting him run wild )

then there was the part where some lubber thought he could have a staredown with Jigsaw. that did not work out very splendidly for him at all.

and of course, CutThroat, bane of bowls everywhere, made off with another one. a stylish blue one this time.

i had some foppish foolery at the movies.

after that, we went to do some errands, and looked at some halloween junk and stuff.

we eventually crawled back to our lair.

and there was the warmth and perfection and bliss.

i learned that CutThroat can run and leap without waking up, or getting out of bed.
and i learned that Jigsaw can sleep through such carrying on.


then there was the extended bonus round.

we saw a wreck that should make everyone on earth drive a little more carefully. one of the cars involved, and the worst mangled, was exactly like ours.
if everyone would drive more safely, carefully, and with more courtesy, especially when it's raining. people would have to bury their loved ones a whole lot less.
slow down you fucking morons. it won't kill you. and not doing it sure as hell can.

there were 3 mullets all within 20 feet. and unrelated. amazing.

there was getting lost, and the part where we had to fight Mr. Hyde.
but we whooped him.

nothing is a bad experience, as long as we learn from it. everything is in our control. nothing pulls our strings. we are our choices. make them well.

nobody comes to tears in the food court, and keeps shopping. that's when it's time to go back to the car.

things work out. force of will, love, and perseverance can overcome everything.




every time it it just as hard as the first....
to walk away....
and look up...
and smile...
and wave...
and pretend that a huge piece of you isn't bleeding it's guts out and screaming and wailing and begging anyone who will listen for more time. just a little more time.

like... say... forever?
poisonedgrace: (faces)
started early for a change...
but of course there were wrecks and plastic cabins and things in the road.
and lots of rain.
so it ended up making enough of a delay that starting early didn't matter.

there was the part where i looked rather dashing this wednesday.
if i do say so my self for once.
and i do.

i wasn't out of the car for 2 minutes before a second cutie was climbing in to be whisked away!
ahhh a handsome pirate's life is often fraught with such peril!

there was the part, while getting food where this hideous beast, of epic proportions warb'led and chortled in a most noxious manner.

there was the tavern lass who was unable to resist the lure of such a swashbuckling chap as i, and had to talk to me slightly.

the lights did these.... things....

i was sorely tempted to threaten the "waiter" with my knife when he tried to push desert on us! he's lucky i let him off.

and true to form, good ol' CutThroat stole a dish from the inn!
then Jigsaw drove the getaway car, after spitting her swill in the parking lot!

there was the angst of parking, but it worked out.

then, there's the part where they make all these clouds of colour explode in your head. where everything in the world, is just as it should be, and everything is right, and vivid, and soft. you can relish every single second of it, and even if it lasts a million years, something like that is ALWAYS, without fail, over too quickly.

you can savour the taste of lips.
you can relish the shining eyes.
you can hear the cosmos sing that lullaby that you only get when the right hearts are aligned...
but it always ends too soon.
all memory is a pale shroud compared to the reality of soft bodies....
poisonedgrace: (faces)
it sometimes seems like it's been a lot longer than seven...
other times it seems to have passed quickly.

there was a missed event that i didn't necessarily miss in and of itself.
although i found out later that i DID miss seeing someone there whom i had wanted to say hello to...

there was sickness and not feeling wellness.
there was the delirium of sleepiness and finally a trip for food.

after all that, there were lots and lots of goblins for quite a while.

it was a very relaxed and uneventful saturday.

but there was a lot of togetherness, and that can never be a bad thing.

there was a missed chance at soup. everyone is always such bastards about soup.
*shakes fist*

there was the part where Nigel stole everyone's straws, and no one could have a drink.
poisonedgrace: (faces)
happened to take place on a thursday. wednesday is strange like that, it can move around some...

there was hurrying.
there was waiting.

there was hurrying to wait. and waiting to hurry.

there was standing around in the hot sun for hours and hours.

there were some scary people, some funny people, and some not-so-scary people.

there was the part where Mr. Baggins was disappointed. i liked that part.
but then again, i'm kinda mean.

there was so thirsty on the way home.

we waited for thirty minutes or so, then she came home and we were all.
:)

all grabbed quick food. i had to lay down for a bit after.
because there's the part where i have a lot of bruising and pain still. more than i expected nearly a week later.

then we left.
there were a lot of parts with loudness and lights and stuff and such.
i think everyone had fun.

there was the disassembling and changing and organizing.

and of course the part where we shouldn't have done that on the horse-ride thingy, because it's just WRONG, and we're stupid for doing it ;)

then there was nice snuggly warmth and softness and perfection and sleep.


and someday... every day of my life will be surrounded with these bright angels.

July 2017

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