Yesterday, an online friend was asking me about Nigel, and where he came from.
So, I decided, for the first time ever, to reveal the origin of Nigel Rupert Toastwater III
(for more info, please visit Nigel at http://www.myspace.com/toastwater and http://nigeltoastwater.livejournal.com/
I then realized, that the story should be shared with the world, so here you go:
My boat sprung a leak off the eastern cost of Africa. I put ashore for supplies and repairs. Unfortunatley, there was no civilization. My Swahili is pathetic at best, but I managed to meet some natives told me of something called a 'gumgum fruit' that produces a thick heavy sap. I was hoping that I could use it to repair my boat.
I traveled three days and three nights into the jungles.
Terrible danger around every turn!
Finally I came befre a giant statue. The statue was holding a tiny man. he said that I had to get the blessing of the forest spirit before I could gather the gumgum fruit.
to gain the blessing of the forest spirit, I had to do several tasks.
I had to remove a thorn from a Rhino's foot (even harder than it sounds).
I had to help a Lioness give birth (she had twins).
For the third task, I had to find out what had been stealing the old man on the statue's bread at night when he slept.
This was the most difficult task.
I sat, awake, for 6 days and nights, and every morning, when the sun came up, the bread was missing with no trace.
Finally, I had a plan.
I wrapped the bread up with a long green jubgo vine, and wound the vine into a coil, tying the other end to a large stone.
The next morning, the bread was gone. I followed the vine to see where it had gone.
Eventually, it led me to the hollow within a tree.
There, eating the bread was a small spotted animal.
I says to the animal, "AHA!" I says.
The Spotted Animal looked up, bread in his hands, and he says "Oh noes!"
I captured him, by grabbing his head in one hand, and his hips in the other. He was very long and twisty. He nearly severed my arm in the struggle! I took him back to the old man, who invoked the Forest Spirit.
The Forest Spirit came down from the jungle canopy and said to the Spotted Animal "You there, Genet!"
The genet (fot that is indeed what the spotted animal was) replied "I DINNAN DOOS IT!"
"You have been caught with the bread of my Prophet heavy in your gut, vile animal!" thundered the Forest Spirit, "You are hereby sentenced to death!"
Then, the Forest spirit commanded that I destroy the genet by pulling his little head off. For this task, I was to be awarded the gumgum fruit.
The genet looked up at me with big pittiful eyes and said "Nooooo! I is jussa baby!"
So, we told the Forest Spirit, and his Prophet (whose name was Edwardo, by the way) that they could both get bent. We left there, came back at night, stole the gumgum fruit from them, repaired the boat, and sailed to Egypt.