poisonedgrace: (Default)


 

I guess the hillbilly shit is dealt with for now.  It went about like I expected it to.  
___

I haven't been remembering my dreams, so there's none of those to share.

I found the coolest bit of inspiration.  If I win the lottery, I am going to buy this immediately:
https://orangecounty.craigslist.org/cto/6308916765.html

In case the listing dies, I will share pics:
Cut for size and multiple pics )  And the text:
"This is a 1962 Studebaker sits on a 70 7K5 Blazer chassis everything you could imagine has been fully replaced and fully restored he sits on brand new 37 inch Toyo's on 20 inch XTs fox reservoirs all the way around. metal mulisha exhaust all brand new auto meter gauges brand new summit racing wiring and fuel cell every sealed bearing bushing has been replaced everything has been powder coated has a brand new small block 350 with a nice camp 350 tranny The body's been professionally done Linex and painted over this is a one-of-a-kind build every single head turns when you're driving down the road there is way too much to list your more than welcome to call for more details and pictures thank you."
















poisonedgrace: (Default)
This in just DAYS before I get my Dr Phibes tattoo that I've been planning for several years. Maybe I will just wait... or not do it at all.

http://www.naughtybutnicerob.com/johnny-depp-to-star-in-the-abominable-dr-phibes-remake/

I am very heavily leaning to 'not at all'. I imagine that after my shock and horror wears off, I will put to bed the desire to complete the tattoo and just carry a sick nostalgia of how cool it would have been.

I honestly can not begin to imagine the horrific travesty that will become my 2nd favourite film of all time, and my #1 favourite English language film ever. This is the greatest love story, and the most romantic movie ever made, not to mention Vincent Price's best work.

Tim Burton attaching his slimy name to it is the final straw in a long line of him becoming a shitty wanna-be goth Tarantino.

I am beyond sickened at this point, and I guess I should consider myself lucky that I changed my mind and re-designed the tattoo (causing delays) at the last minute.
poisonedgrace: (Default)
I was inerviewed over here, if you aren't already a member:

http://community.livejournal.com/homespun_horror/12193.html
poisonedgrace: (Default)
Been a bit since I posted, I guess.
I'll catch you up a bit...
Was really busy with Halloween Stuff until the last minute, but I completed everything which I had realistically hoped to accomplish.

I'll link some pictures rather than post them here, that way if you wish to avoid them, you don't have to click.
Here are pics of my Cthulhu costume:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs041.snc4/34422_448907925682_514200682_5919490_7688182_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs476.ash2/74932_448908100682_514200682_5919497_3398566_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs494.ash2/76703_448908165682_514200682_5919499_5352454_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs462.ash2/73506_448907550682_514200682_5919476_2441935_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs477.ash2/75021_448907255682_514200682_5919467_5220772_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs931.snc4/74442_448907300682_514200682_5919468_7915044_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1119.snc4/148160_448819601559_658336559_6172165_7477760_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs489.ash2/76221_497091310773_607370773_7183537_5453181_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1143.snc4/148505_497091275773_607370773_7183536_2592339_n.jpg

Here is this years group picture:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs889.snc4/72245_448405975682_514200682_5911452_8141180_n.jpg

Here is my friend's Deep One High Priest costume which I made:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1126.snc4/148892_448405860682_514200682_5911445_5573543_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs056.ash2/36172_163608120326908_100000331629064_362688_71228_n.jpg (along with my brother [the monster] and our other friend [resident evil soldier guy])
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs977.snc4/77055_497849228202_639348202_7332229_5655870_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1137.snc4/149980_460023277070_756732070_5336957_3446057_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs928.snc4/74149_448405260682_514200682_5911423_5759022_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1126.snc4/148892_448405860682_514200682_5911445_5573543_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs442.ash2/71579_448406295682_514200682_5911466_2250613_n.jpg
On this one, I made the robes (from scratch, no pattern), the hat (same as the robes) and the book (it was a bible once upon a time, now it's a nightmarish HP Lovecraft mythos tome). The facial prosthetic was supplied unpainted from mostlydead.com, and I did the makeup / paint / application for it.

Here are the some pictures of the face prosthetic I made for my friend:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs892.snc4/72586_497870808202_639348202_7333015_7243269_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs904.snc4/71722_497845153202_639348202_7332072_7521943_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs964.snc4/75716_497851028202_639348202_7332302_650851_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs902.snc4/71526_448907875682_514200682_5919488_6207593_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs807.snc4/68771_1209569777234_1768434061_398713_1698872_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs919.snc4/73238_460024677070_756732070_5336985_7882494_n.jpg
This one one on her eye was made from scratch (and applied) by me.  The one on her collarbone was store bought.
She made the fingernails herself and they were amazing and gross and awesome.

I had also helped make a plastic shirt thing for my room mate, but I didn't see a picture of it where you could really get a good look, and I didn't really help too much anyhow haha.


We went downtown Halloween night, right at 6th and Red River, as usual.  Got there a little later than I would have liked, as usual.
During the course of the night, I saw a fight (it had 6 to 8 people in it) which actually crashed into the side of me.  I saw it coming and held on so I didn't get knocked over.  I saw a riot (this one had 10 to 16 people in it) in which 6 cops, pepper spray and 2 paddy wagons were deployed to correct the issue.

Weird, considering all these years I've been going down there and never seeing fights or disturbances at all.
They had the streets blocked off differently, maybe that's why...
None of the people involved were wearing costumes.
The first one involved a girl carrying an infant.  The second one featured a girl who got pepper sprayed by the cops TWICE! once across her whole face, and once right in the eye.  She kept going like a raging beast.  Seriously, that shit barely even slowed her down at all.  And she was five foot nothing and weighed maybe 110 pounds.  She was sort of my hero.

When I was removing my stilts at the end of the night, I got a wicked charlie horse.  It was the same leg that the Fighting Morons crashed into but I don't know if that was the ultimate cause or not.  It was REALLY bad.  Like wanting to scream, roll around and pray to pass out bad.  I had to sit on the sidewalk for a spell and recover.  It ended up being very swollen, and I could not touch it or put any weight on it for 2 days. 

Not really sure what happened there, but it's better now.  I usually heal pretty fast though.
___

After that, my friend got in a car crash which sucks, but I think it's all going to be alright in the long run, and no one was injured.
___

Going to see Paranormal Activity 2 at Alamo Lakecreek tonight at 7:50 if anyone else will be there or whatever.
___

Tomorrow, waking up at the crack of early to road trip to east Texas and go to the Texas Renaissance Festival.  after that, we're driving another 1.5 hours east to camp out in a haunted swamp.  Complete with Native American Burial Grounds and lots of Bigfoot sightings.

Should be an awesome time!

I'm sure there's a million things on my mind, but this is already longer than anyone will read, so I'll post it now.
:P
poisonedgrace: (Default)
Been a bit since I posted, I guess.
I'll catch you up a bit...
Was really busy with Halloween Stuff until the last minute, but I completed everything which I had realistically hoped to accomplish.

I'll link some pictures rather than post them here, that way if you wish to avoid them, you don't have to click.
Here are pics of my Cthulhu costume:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs041.snc4/34422_448907925682_514200682_5919490_7688182_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs476.ash2/74932_448908100682_514200682_5919497_3398566_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs494.ash2/76703_448908165682_514200682_5919499_5352454_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs462.ash2/73506_448907550682_514200682_5919476_2441935_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs477.ash2/75021_448907255682_514200682_5919467_5220772_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs931.snc4/74442_448907300682_514200682_5919468_7915044_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1119.snc4/148160_448819601559_658336559_6172165_7477760_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs489.ash2/76221_497091310773_607370773_7183537_5453181_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1143.snc4/148505_497091275773_607370773_7183536_2592339_n.jpg

Here is this years group picture:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs889.snc4/72245_448405975682_514200682_5911452_8141180_n.jpg

Here is my friend's Deep One High Priest costume which I made:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1126.snc4/148892_448405860682_514200682_5911445_5573543_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs056.ash2/36172_163608120326908_100000331629064_362688_71228_n.jpg (along with my brother [the monster] and our other friend [resident evil soldier guy])
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs977.snc4/77055_497849228202_639348202_7332229_5655870_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1137.snc4/149980_460023277070_756732070_5336957_3446057_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs928.snc4/74149_448405260682_514200682_5911423_5759022_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1126.snc4/148892_448405860682_514200682_5911445_5573543_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs442.ash2/71579_448406295682_514200682_5911466_2250613_n.jpg
On this one, I made the robes (from scratch, no pattern), the hat (same as the robes) and the book (it was a bible once upon a time, now it's a nightmarish HP Lovecraft mythos tome). The facial prosthetic was supplied unpainted from mostlydead.com, and I did the makeup / paint / application for it.

Here are the some pictures of the face prosthetic I made for my friend:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs892.snc4/72586_497870808202_639348202_7333015_7243269_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs904.snc4/71722_497845153202_639348202_7332072_7521943_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs964.snc4/75716_497851028202_639348202_7332302_650851_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs902.snc4/71526_448907875682_514200682_5919488_6207593_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs807.snc4/68771_1209569777234_1768434061_398713_1698872_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs919.snc4/73238_460024677070_756732070_5336985_7882494_n.jpg
This one one on her eye was made from scratch (and applied) by me.  The one on her collarbone was store bought.
She made the fingernails herself and they were amazing and gross and awesome.

I had also helped make a plastic shirt thing for my room mate, but I didn't see a picture of it where you could really get a good look, and I didn't really help too much anyhow haha.


We went downtown Halloween night, right at 6th and Red River, as usual.  Got there a little later than I would have liked, as usual.
During the course of the night, I saw a fight (it had 6 to 8 people in it) which actually crashed into the side of me.  I saw it coming and held on so I didn't get knocked over.  I saw a riot (this one had 10 to 16 people in it) in which 6 cops, pepper spray and 2 paddy wagons were deployed to correct the issue.

Weird, considering all these years I've been going down there and never seeing fights or disturbances at all.
They had the streets blocked off differently, maybe that's why...
None of the people involved were wearing costumes.
The first one involved a girl carrying an infant.  The second one featured a girl who got pepper sprayed by the cops TWICE! once across her whole face, and once right in the eye.  She kept going like a raging beast.  Seriously, that shit barely even slowed her down at all.  And she was five foot nothing and weighed maybe 110 pounds.  She was sort of my hero.

When I was removing my stilts at the end of the night, I got a wicked charlie horse.  It was the same leg that the Fighting Morons crashed into but I don't know if that was the ultimate cause or not.  It was REALLY bad.  Like wanting to scream, roll around and pray to pass out bad.  I had to sit on the sidewalk for a spell and recover.  It ended up being very swollen, and I could not touch it or put any weight on it for 2 days. 

Not really sure what happened there, but it's better now.  I usually heal pretty fast though.
___

After that, my friend got in a car crash which sucks, but I think it's all going to be alright in the long run, and no one was injured.
___

Going to see Paranormal Activity 2 at Alamo Lakecreek tonight at 7:50 if anyone else will be there or whatever.
___

Tomorrow, waking up at the crack of early to road trip to east Texas and go to the Texas Renaissance Festival.  after that, we're driving another 1.5 hours east to camp out in a haunted swamp.  Complete with Native American Burial Grounds and lots of Bigfoot sightings.

Should be an awesome time!

I'm sure there's a million things on my mind, but this is already longer than anyone will read, so I'll post it now.
:P
poisonedgrace: (Default)
Been a bit since I posted, I guess.
I'll catch you up a bit...
Was really busy with Halloween Stuff until the last minute, but I completed everything which I had realistically hoped to accomplish.

I'll link some pictures rather than post them here, that way if you wish to avoid them, you don't have to click.
Here are pics of my Cthulhu costume:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs041.snc4/34422_448907925682_514200682_5919490_7688182_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs476.ash2/74932_448908100682_514200682_5919497_3398566_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs494.ash2/76703_448908165682_514200682_5919499_5352454_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs462.ash2/73506_448907550682_514200682_5919476_2441935_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs477.ash2/75021_448907255682_514200682_5919467_5220772_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs931.snc4/74442_448907300682_514200682_5919468_7915044_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1119.snc4/148160_448819601559_658336559_6172165_7477760_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs489.ash2/76221_497091310773_607370773_7183537_5453181_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1143.snc4/148505_497091275773_607370773_7183536_2592339_n.jpg

Here is this years group picture:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs889.snc4/72245_448405975682_514200682_5911452_8141180_n.jpg

Here is my friend's Deep One High Priest costume which I made:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1126.snc4/148892_448405860682_514200682_5911445_5573543_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs056.ash2/36172_163608120326908_100000331629064_362688_71228_n.jpg (along with my brother [the monster] and our other friend [resident evil soldier guy])
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs977.snc4/77055_497849228202_639348202_7332229_5655870_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1137.snc4/149980_460023277070_756732070_5336957_3446057_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs928.snc4/74149_448405260682_514200682_5911423_5759022_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1126.snc4/148892_448405860682_514200682_5911445_5573543_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs442.ash2/71579_448406295682_514200682_5911466_2250613_n.jpg
On this one, I made the robes (from scratch, no pattern), the hat (same as the robes) and the book (it was a bible once upon a time, now it's a nightmarish HP Lovecraft mythos tome). The facial prosthetic was supplied unpainted from mostlydead.com, and I did the makeup / paint / application for it.

Here are the some pictures of the face prosthetic I made for my friend:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs892.snc4/72586_497870808202_639348202_7333015_7243269_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs904.snc4/71722_497845153202_639348202_7332072_7521943_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs964.snc4/75716_497851028202_639348202_7332302_650851_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs902.snc4/71526_448907875682_514200682_5919488_6207593_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs807.snc4/68771_1209569777234_1768434061_398713_1698872_n.jpg
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs919.snc4/73238_460024677070_756732070_5336985_7882494_n.jpg
This one one on her eye was made from scratch (and applied) by me.  The one on her collarbone was store bought.
She made the fingernails herself and they were amazing and gross and awesome.

I had also helped make a plastic shirt thing for my room mate, but I didn't see a picture of it where you could really get a good look, and I didn't really help too much anyhow haha.


We went downtown Halloween night, right at 6th and Red River, as usual.  Got there a little later than I would have liked, as usual.
During the course of the night, I saw a fight (it had 6 to 8 people in it) which actually crashed into the side of me.  I saw it coming and held on so I didn't get knocked over.  I saw a riot (this one had 10 to 16 people in it) in which 6 cops, pepper spray and 2 paddy wagons were deployed to correct the issue.

Weird, considering all these years I've been going down there and never seeing fights or disturbances at all.
They had the streets blocked off differently, maybe that's why...
None of the people involved were wearing costumes.
The first one involved a girl carrying an infant.  The second one featured a girl who got pepper sprayed by the cops TWICE! once across her whole face, and once right in the eye.  She kept going like a raging beast.  Seriously, that shit barely even slowed her down at all.  And she was five foot nothing and weighed maybe 110 pounds.  She was sort of my hero.

When I was removing my stilts at the end of the night, I got a wicked charlie horse.  It was the same leg that the Fighting Morons crashed into but I don't know if that was the ultimate cause or not.  It was REALLY bad.  Like wanting to scream, roll around and pray to pass out bad.  I had to sit on the sidewalk for a spell and recover.  It ended up being very swollen, and I could not touch it or put any weight on it for 2 days. 

Not really sure what happened there, but it's better now.  I usually heal pretty fast though.
___

After that, my friend got in a car crash which sucks, but I think it's all going to be alright in the long run, and no one was injured.
___

Going to see Paranormal Activity 2 at Alamo Lakecreek tonight at 7:50 if anyone else will be there or whatever.
___

Tomorrow, waking up at the crack of early to road trip to east Texas and go to the Texas Renaissance Festival.  after that, we're driving another 1.5 hours east to camp out in a haunted swamp.  Complete with Native American Burial Grounds and lots of Bigfoot sightings.

Should be an awesome time!

I'm sure there's a million things on my mind, but this is already longer than anyone will read, so I'll post it now.
:P

Briefly:

Sep. 8th, 2010 03:11 pm
poisonedgrace: (Chaos Reigns)
  

3 day weekend.  Good and bad.  Get back to work and have a million things to do.

When not at work, I've been pretty much obsessing over this:
http://twitpic.com/2lnas8

When not actively working on some part of the setup, I've been researching it to make it work or debug or make it work better or whatever.
Would help if I had any idea what I was doing, but I guess this is how I usually learn most things, in over my head, deadline breathing down my neck.  Hopefully it all comes out.  If it does, I'll make a video or something.

Having a serious attack of C.E.R. Syndrome today.  Maybe I can just go take a nap or something.

Questioning the sanity of basically everything in my life right now.  I am weak, stupid, weak-willed and filled with terrible ideas and worse choices.  Go me.

I'm also really sick of all that.

I guess that's it for now, I don't really have time for this, just wanted to confirm that I didn't Take The Retirement Plan yet.

Yet...

Briefly:

Sep. 8th, 2010 03:11 pm
poisonedgrace: (Chaos Reigns)
  

3 day weekend.  Good and bad.  Get back to work and have a million things to do.

When not at work, I've been pretty much obsessing over this:
http://twitpic.com/2lnas8

When not actively working on some part of the setup, I've been researching it to make it work or debug or make it work better or whatever.
Would help if I had any idea what I was doing, but I guess this is how I usually learn most things, in over my head, deadline breathing down my neck.  Hopefully it all comes out.  If it does, I'll make a video or something.

Having a serious attack of C.E.R. Syndrome today.  Maybe I can just go take a nap or something.

Questioning the sanity of basically everything in my life right now.  I am weak, stupid, weak-willed and filled with terrible ideas and worse choices.  Go me.

I'm also really sick of all that.

I guess that's it for now, I don't really have time for this, just wanted to confirm that I didn't Take The Retirement Plan yet.

Yet...

poisonedgrace: (wild things)



Haven't written anything since Wednesday.  I'm slipping.
I tried to write a little something Saturday morning, but it got lost into the cracks of the internet and never came out of the other side, so it's just Tears in the Rain now.
___

I dreamed that I was shot in the chest by some sort of bandits.  I was bleeding out, and nearly dead.  I had to escape amid explosions and horror to look for help.  I eventually made it to a populated area, and found some sort of pub type place.  I went in to seek help, but no one wanted to stop watching sports on TV long enough to call an ambulance or a Dr.  I tried to tell them that  I had "already lost over 90% of my blood" so I needed help quickly, but I don't think anyone noticed.  I got colder and colder and just lay down on a billiards table to fall asleep for the last time. 
___

I hate that I sometimes still feel so... 
I don't even have a word or phrase for it that doesn't sound like really bad Nine Inch Nails lyrics.  And that's practically the worst part ;)

I wonder so much about Damage vs Healing.  I wonder if anything ever can erase the damage done.  I hate being suspicious of any and everything that I ever think.  I hate the second, third and fourth guessing of everything. 

And I wonder if we're really like Aluminum Foil.
Sure you can straighten it back out and smooth it out and make it a flat shape again, but once it's been wadded into a tight ball, it will just never be the same.  It'll never have that flat smooth glossy shiny look again.  It will still function, and serve all it's purposes, but it won't ever be like it was.

I don't want to be like that.  I just have a lifetime's worth of nagging suspicion that that's how it is though.

My gravestone might say:
"Here it lies...
                 Wadded one too many times."


___

As much as I disLike sleep and sleeping, sometimes I feel like I just want to crawl into my cave and not come out for days.  Intermittent fits of sleep broken by bouts of frenzied fever.  We're all dancing in ways that we can't see.  Spinning, flailing and falling.  Forcing ourselves into fanciful filigree.  Free form foolishness, fleeing from fiends.  Keeping a box of matches at the ready,  Just. In. Case. 
___

I don't want to open The Jar and I don't want to close The Jar and I don't want you waiting on the edge of every breath I take, threatening to come storming in and wreck all the new decorations that I'm trying to set up.  And I don't know why you're even still alive.  Because I'm not.  And if I'm not, then why should you be?

There are not enough Roast Chickens to even any of this out.
___

You will never convince me that this is not the best page on the internet:
http://www.gutenberg.org
Hell, that may be the sole reason that the internet even exists.

It will forever be a source of disappointment to me that such a site will not get as many visits in a year as some trash like Facebook gets in an hour.
___

Also:
I want to make a punk rock band called 'Rat Benetar'.
We'll all wear home made / stuffed rat tails pinned to our pants.

Unless we have a REALLY fat guy *crosses fingers* and then I'll make him a short chubby hamster tail.
He would be adorable.

We might also have to wear rat ears.  Whiskers will be optional, however.


-
poisonedgrace: (wild things)



Haven't written anything since Wednesday.  I'm slipping.
I tried to write a little something Saturday morning, but it got lost into the cracks of the internet and never came out of the other side, so it's just Tears in the Rain now.
___

I dreamed that I was shot in the chest by some sort of bandits.  I was bleeding out, and nearly dead.  I had to escape amid explosions and horror to look for help.  I eventually made it to a populated area, and found some sort of pub type place.  I went in to seek help, but no one wanted to stop watching sports on TV long enough to call an ambulance or a Dr.  I tried to tell them that  I had "already lost over 90% of my blood" so I needed help quickly, but I don't think anyone noticed.  I got colder and colder and just lay down on a billiards table to fall asleep for the last time. 
___

I hate that I sometimes still feel so... 
I don't even have a word or phrase for it that doesn't sound like really bad Nine Inch Nails lyrics.  And that's practically the worst part ;)

I wonder so much about Damage vs Healing.  I wonder if anything ever can erase the damage done.  I hate being suspicious of any and everything that I ever think.  I hate the second, third and fourth guessing of everything. 

And I wonder if we're really like Aluminum Foil.
Sure you can straighten it back out and smooth it out and make it a flat shape again, but once it's been wadded into a tight ball, it will just never be the same.  It'll never have that flat smooth glossy shiny look again.  It will still function, and serve all it's purposes, but it won't ever be like it was.

I don't want to be like that.  I just have a lifetime's worth of nagging suspicion that that's how it is though.

My gravestone might say:
"Here it lies...
                 Wadded one too many times."


___

As much as I disLike sleep and sleeping, sometimes I feel like I just want to crawl into my cave and not come out for days.  Intermittent fits of sleep broken by bouts of frenzied fever.  We're all dancing in ways that we can't see.  Spinning, flailing and falling.  Forcing ourselves into fanciful filigree.  Free form foolishness, fleeing from fiends.  Keeping a box of matches at the ready,  Just. In. Case. 
___

I don't want to open The Jar and I don't want to close The Jar and I don't want you waiting on the edge of every breath I take, threatening to come storming in and wreck all the new decorations that I'm trying to set up.  And I don't know why you're even still alive.  Because I'm not.  And if I'm not, then why should you be?

There are not enough Roast Chickens to even any of this out.
___

You will never convince me that this is not the best page on the internet:
http://www.gutenberg.org
Hell, that may be the sole reason that the internet even exists.

It will forever be a source of disappointment to me that such a site will not get as many visits in a year as some trash like Facebook gets in an hour.
___

Also:
I want to make a punk rock band called 'Rat Benetar'.
We'll all wear home made / stuffed rat tails pinned to our pants.

Unless we have a REALLY fat guy *crosses fingers* and then I'll make him a short chubby hamster tail.
He would be adorable.

We might also have to wear rat ears.  Whiskers will be optional, however.


-
poisonedgrace: (Calvin)



I guess I was still annoyed about injustice and audacity when I fell asleep, because I dreamed that we were... somewhere (I'm not sure where) and your stupid exboyfriend showed up and was giving you crap.  I tried to stand aside and let you deal with it, because it's your business after all.  I could only take so much of the way he was speaking to you, and after I couldn't take it anymore, I suggested to you that we just leave because it wasn't accomplishing anything anyhow.

Of course he got mouthy at me, which I tried to ignore, so he got threatening at me.  I asked him how well he thought that would work out for him if he tried it.  He didn't like that (cause big dudes never do when the little dudes don't take their shit) and he took a swing at me.  A typical Hulk style 'big guy smash smaller guy!' untrained poorly executed sort that I've seen a hundred times.  Come to find out, it didn't work out for him at all.  He found himself in a bad position (which could have been a lot worse, but I'm a merciful asshole and didn't render him permanently damaged) and I kept him there until the fight was gone from him.

Then we left.

___

At some other point I had a dream about working retail.  Or maybe 'working retail undercover' was more like it?  I remember it was all very analytical, like I cared more about the various situations and concept than about the job itself.  I remember that some sort of faeries had caused mischief in the stock room, but that's all I can remember, aside from some images of goods and parts of the establishment itself.
___

I had a third dream about trying to interact with some weird cultish group of people.  They had some sort of compound sort of place, and they might not have been 100% human, I'm not sure.  I think that maybe I've dreamed of them before.  They were in a workshop type place, and moving from there into a yard kinda place.  I think they were going on and on about the magical powers of Jesus or some such.  One of them might have been Urine Shark.  Not sure about that though, I might be getting several things confused at this point.

That's about all I got for that one anyhow.
___

There was some other stuff...  With flying and laser guns and rocket launchers and robot soldiers and a landlord and revenge and a city by the sea, but I only have images and nothing that really makes as much sense as I'd like...  And when I try to sort it out, it seems like it was somehow connected to all 3 of those other dreams.  Maybe it was the running background reality where the other acts took place or something.  No clue.  I blame Urine Shark.
___

Aside from dreams, what's new... hmm....  Going to see Sage Francis (yet again) next week.  Poor as a pauper until payday on Friday. 

Downloaded the Free Trial for Champions Online at the request of my brother who also downloaded it :P

I haven't played the actual game yet, but I do have to say that it totally has THE best Character Creation Process EVER.  I seriously spent 3 hours each night, for the past 3 nights, making 3 different characters (one per night, duh!).  And I don't think I'm quite finished with the 3rd one yet.  Probably work on him again tonight if I sit down to the computer.  There are literally THOUSANDS of different parts and items and options for making a unique looking character.  You can set everything (height, body mass, limb length etc etc) to such an amazing degree of control.  Hell, I have no idea if the game itself is any good, but I could enjoy the creation process for the duration of the free trial and have a great time just with that!

I'm going to try to get some screenshots of the stuff I've been making, maybe I'll do that tonight and can post them at some point.


Well, I guess that's it for now.
I'm still working on trying to write something, but I swear I just can't get it right, and it's frustrating me :(
I dunno if it's lack of sleep or insanity or a combination of all 4, but I just can not make the words do what I want to them to with this.


_  
poisonedgrace: (Calvin)



I guess I was still annoyed about injustice and audacity when I fell asleep, because I dreamed that we were... somewhere (I'm not sure where) and your stupid exboyfriend showed up and was giving you crap.  I tried to stand aside and let you deal with it, because it's your business after all.  I could only take so much of the way he was speaking to you, and after I couldn't take it anymore, I suggested to you that we just leave because it wasn't accomplishing anything anyhow.

Of course he got mouthy at me, which I tried to ignore, so he got threatening at me.  I asked him how well he thought that would work out for him if he tried it.  He didn't like that (cause big dudes never do when the little dudes don't take their shit) and he took a swing at me.  A typical Hulk style 'big guy smash smaller guy!' untrained poorly executed sort that I've seen a hundred times.  Come to find out, it didn't work out for him at all.  He found himself in a bad position (which could have been a lot worse, but I'm a merciful asshole and didn't render him permanently damaged) and I kept him there until the fight was gone from him.

Then we left.

___

At some other point I had a dream about working retail.  Or maybe 'working retail undercover' was more like it?  I remember it was all very analytical, like I cared more about the various situations and concept than about the job itself.  I remember that some sort of faeries had caused mischief in the stock room, but that's all I can remember, aside from some images of goods and parts of the establishment itself.
___

I had a third dream about trying to interact with some weird cultish group of people.  They had some sort of compound sort of place, and they might not have been 100% human, I'm not sure.  I think that maybe I've dreamed of them before.  They were in a workshop type place, and moving from there into a yard kinda place.  I think they were going on and on about the magical powers of Jesus or some such.  One of them might have been Urine Shark.  Not sure about that though, I might be getting several things confused at this point.

That's about all I got for that one anyhow.
___

There was some other stuff...  With flying and laser guns and rocket launchers and robot soldiers and a landlord and revenge and a city by the sea, but I only have images and nothing that really makes as much sense as I'd like...  And when I try to sort it out, it seems like it was somehow connected to all 3 of those other dreams.  Maybe it was the running background reality where the other acts took place or something.  No clue.  I blame Urine Shark.
___

Aside from dreams, what's new... hmm....  Going to see Sage Francis (yet again) next week.  Poor as a pauper until payday on Friday. 

Downloaded the Free Trial for Champions Online at the request of my brother who also downloaded it :P

I haven't played the actual game yet, but I do have to say that it totally has THE best Character Creation Process EVER.  I seriously spent 3 hours each night, for the past 3 nights, making 3 different characters (one per night, duh!).  And I don't think I'm quite finished with the 3rd one yet.  Probably work on him again tonight if I sit down to the computer.  There are literally THOUSANDS of different parts and items and options for making a unique looking character.  You can set everything (height, body mass, limb length etc etc) to such an amazing degree of control.  Hell, I have no idea if the game itself is any good, but I could enjoy the creation process for the duration of the free trial and have a great time just with that!

I'm going to try to get some screenshots of the stuff I've been making, maybe I'll do that tonight and can post them at some point.


Well, I guess that's it for now.
I'm still working on trying to write something, but I swear I just can't get it right, and it's frustrating me :(
I dunno if it's lack of sleep or insanity or a combination of all 4, but I just can not make the words do what I want to them to with this.


_  
poisonedgrace: (Default)


Yesterday started out as a really long day.  Was fine in the morning, but it was dragging.

At lunch time I moved my car, and I was reading my book.  I always have my headlights on when I drive, and I've never ever left them on accidentally before, in all these years.  Well, after parked yesterday, someone whipped in the parking lot and almost clipped me, so I was totally busy swearing at them when I was killing the engine and rolling down the windows. 

And I was juuuuuust distracted enough to leave my damned lights on.  I sat in the car and read for like 30 mins.  It was time to go back in, and just starting to rain, so I turned the key to roll the windows up and... yep, dead as hell.  Not a surprise.  I've been needing to replace my battery for a while, I was just wanting to make it 1000 more miles so I could do it when I got my normal maintenance done anyhow.  Can't buy a battery for my car at like Walmart or anything, cause it's a fruity size, and regular ol' places don't carry it.  Has to be obtained from the dealership.

As I sat there, fuming about the situation, a bird totally tried to shit on me, guys.  It was insane.  I head a noise and looked over, and the little bastard had somehow managed to shit right INSIDE my car!  Luckily I had a napkin so I wiped it off before it got on me.  I swore at him some too.

I channeled some of the ambient electricity from the air / pending storm, and pulled some out of the battery in the car next to me using mystical powers, and got just enough in there to get the windows back up, so it didn't get rained in at least.

Eventually got my family to stop by the dealership and pick me up a new battery and bring it over to the work parking lot and put it in, so I'm good.  Got away from work kinda late, but that's to be expected with a mess like that.

Got home finally, felt icky from standing in the rain & stuff and had a shower.  Had dinner (yay tacos!) with friends, then went back home and watched a movie which I really enjoyed.  It's on netflix, as well as instant netflix.

It's called Ink and I seriously can not recommend this movie highly enough.  It's a true and truly independent film, which is a rare thing these days.  Usually there's some big studio lurking behind a smaller studio name, so they don't 'take risks' or 'tarnish their name' (funny, for blood-drinking slime-mongers to have such concerns, IMO).  But this one is actually full on independent, which is nice to see.

I can't and won't say a whole lot about it, because it's one of those things that could be very easily spoiled.  But if you like sci-fi movies or have much of any taste or brains (hahaha) you might give it a try.  Probably not for everyone, and even the parts that I found predictable, I still thoroughly enjoyed the execution and pacing of the story. 

But umm... yeah.
and err...
also...
hmm...

Well, I guess...
Like...

Things are pretty swell :D

I'll avoid spamming you or being cheesy, and take my leave now.


<3 <3 <3
Three scoops of aorta!

poisonedgrace: (Default)


Yesterday started out as a really long day.  Was fine in the morning, but it was dragging.

At lunch time I moved my car, and I was reading my book.  I always have my headlights on when I drive, and I've never ever left them on accidentally before, in all these years.  Well, after parked yesterday, someone whipped in the parking lot and almost clipped me, so I was totally busy swearing at them when I was killing the engine and rolling down the windows. 

And I was juuuuuust distracted enough to leave my damned lights on.  I sat in the car and read for like 30 mins.  It was time to go back in, and just starting to rain, so I turned the key to roll the windows up and... yep, dead as hell.  Not a surprise.  I've been needing to replace my battery for a while, I was just wanting to make it 1000 more miles so I could do it when I got my normal maintenance done anyhow.  Can't buy a battery for my car at like Walmart or anything, cause it's a fruity size, and regular ol' places don't carry it.  Has to be obtained from the dealership.

As I sat there, fuming about the situation, a bird totally tried to shit on me, guys.  It was insane.  I head a noise and looked over, and the little bastard had somehow managed to shit right INSIDE my car!  Luckily I had a napkin so I wiped it off before it got on me.  I swore at him some too.

I channeled some of the ambient electricity from the air / pending storm, and pulled some out of the battery in the car next to me using mystical powers, and got just enough in there to get the windows back up, so it didn't get rained in at least.

Eventually got my family to stop by the dealership and pick me up a new battery and bring it over to the work parking lot and put it in, so I'm good.  Got away from work kinda late, but that's to be expected with a mess like that.

Got home finally, felt icky from standing in the rain & stuff and had a shower.  Had dinner (yay tacos!) with friends, then went back home and watched a movie which I really enjoyed.  It's on netflix, as well as instant netflix.

It's called Ink and I seriously can not recommend this movie highly enough.  It's a true and truly independent film, which is a rare thing these days.  Usually there's some big studio lurking behind a smaller studio name, so they don't 'take risks' or 'tarnish their name' (funny, for blood-drinking slime-mongers to have such concerns, IMO).  But this one is actually full on independent, which is nice to see.

I can't and won't say a whole lot about it, because it's one of those things that could be very easily spoiled.  But if you like sci-fi movies or have much of any taste or brains (hahaha) you might give it a try.  Probably not for everyone, and even the parts that I found predictable, I still thoroughly enjoyed the execution and pacing of the story. 

But umm... yeah.
and err...
also...
hmm...

Well, I guess...
Like...

Things are pretty swell :D

I'll avoid spamming you or being cheesy, and take my leave now.


<3 <3 <3
Three scoops of aorta!

poisonedgrace: (Default)
-


So, let me try to remember enough about my life to post something here.

Ended up having a more eventful than usual time last week.
Found out that friends were coming in to town for SXSW and didn't have a place to stay on Wednesday and Thursday nights (hotel didn't kick in till Friday).  I borrowed my mom's air mattress and put them up for a couple of nights.

We went and say Alice @ Alamo on Thursday.

My 2 line review, no spoilers:

What's the difference between YOU and Tim Burton?
Tim Burton's Fan Fiction has a 200 Million dollar budget.

Friday, I dropped my guests off at their hotel after we enjoyed the stunningly awesome SXSW traffic.
___

Saturday, I went and saw The Crazies (@ Alamo again) with family.
It was alright. For a re-make and all.  Had a much larger budget than I expected.
___

Sunday was funny looks and stares from the Leanderthals.  I can't tell you how much I just love going shopping up there (sarcasm, in case you're not getting that).

Then there was all the life & death decisions and Will Saves to go with them.  Note to self, L2Roll Higher Than A Five, Kthnx
___

Funny presentation, serious facts: http://www.cracked.com/article_18377_5-reasons-you-should-be-scared-apple.html
___

Trying to get family etc assembled for http://www.sherwoodforestfaire.com/ on Saturday the 20th.
Lemme know if you want in.
___

I guess that's about it for now.  I'm looking forward to getting home from work, doing some laundry, and perhaps a blissful bit of nothing for a spell.  Of course, I'll probably thwart myself by being incapable of not working on like 4 other things at once :P


Oh, and for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, Black Dynamite is pure genius!  Best movie I've seen in a while.


-
poisonedgrace: (Default)
-


So, let me try to remember enough about my life to post something here.

Ended up having a more eventful than usual time last week.
Found out that friends were coming in to town for SXSW and didn't have a place to stay on Wednesday and Thursday nights (hotel didn't kick in till Friday).  I borrowed my mom's air mattress and put them up for a couple of nights.

We went and say Alice @ Alamo on Thursday.

My 2 line review, no spoilers:

What's the difference between YOU and Tim Burton?
Tim Burton's Fan Fiction has a 200 Million dollar budget.

Friday, I dropped my guests off at their hotel after we enjoyed the stunningly awesome SXSW traffic.
___

Saturday, I went and saw The Crazies (@ Alamo again) with family.
It was alright. For a re-make and all.  Had a much larger budget than I expected.
___

Sunday was funny looks and stares from the Leanderthals.  I can't tell you how much I just love going shopping up there (sarcasm, in case you're not getting that).

Then there was all the life & death decisions and Will Saves to go with them.  Note to self, L2Roll Higher Than A Five, Kthnx
___

Funny presentation, serious facts: http://www.cracked.com/article_18377_5-reasons-you-should-be-scared-apple.html
___

Trying to get family etc assembled for http://www.sherwoodforestfaire.com/ on Saturday the 20th.
Lemme know if you want in.
___

I guess that's about it for now.  I'm looking forward to getting home from work, doing some laundry, and perhaps a blissful bit of nothing for a spell.  Of course, I'll probably thwart myself by being incapable of not working on like 4 other things at once :P


Oh, and for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, Black Dynamite is pure genius!  Best movie I've seen in a while.


-

busy busy

Mar. 12th, 2010 03:16 pm
poisonedgrace: (Default)


Too busy today for a real post. maybe soon

Had to share this though.

This comic is written by a 5 year old and drawn by his 29 year old brother.

Also it is amazingly awesome in the way that only a 5 year old can make it :D

http://axecop.com/

busy busy

Mar. 12th, 2010 03:16 pm
poisonedgrace: (Default)


Too busy today for a real post. maybe soon

Had to share this though.

This comic is written by a 5 year old and drawn by his 29 year old brother.

Also it is amazingly awesome in the way that only a 5 year old can make it :D

http://axecop.com/

poisonedgrace: (Default)
-


Every time I try, it's just a disappointment.  Not only a disappointment, but also somewhat embarrassing somehow.  And yet I continue to do that to myself.  Am I just stupid?  At some point, it's not even about being a good person anymore, it's just about being an idiot.

Maybe typing this out will give me more incentive to just NOT from now on.  That would be pretty cool actually, if I could just not. 

No sense in just continually sliding down the cheese-grater, is there?

Obvious truth is obvious.
 _

Just one divider mark here, because I'm not sure this is unrelated.

Woke up this morning with the following sentence on my lips.
"Having a heart is no longer an asset in this modern world, only a liability."

Not sure where I brought it back from, because I had been dreaming about a band of renegade muppets who were holding up a weird double-decker bus in the middle of a huge forest so that they could create a wall around their house to protect their giant strip of bacon from being discouvered.  Of course, I was helping them do this for some reason.  Guess I fit in somewhere, eh?

Anyhow, I woke up with that line on my lips and in my head, went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, started a virus scan on my computer, put my shoes on to head to work.

That's when I found your text message.  I don't know why.  Me too?  Only I want to be done.  I can't take it anymore.  I do know that the world owes you better.  It was strange that your question which came while I was sleeping somehow matched my answer I had upon waking.

Maybe this is The Power Of The Oracle Of B.  It's happened several times now where someone has texted me something while I was sleeping, and I dreamed of the same topic, or an answer to the question, or about the person sending me the text.  And my phone is off at nights, so I don't like 'subconsciously hear it' or something.  I have no idea till the next morning, after I wake up remembering the dream.

Maybe more people should text me in my sleep and seek my nonsensical wisdom.
___

Maybe I'm a savant when I'm awake too.  Or maybe I just need to be 'put down'.

I got to work, only to tell someone else this:
"Life is a carefully orchestrated ballet of being close to a fall... of surfing on the edge of the abyss and not slipping over."
I left out the "If you're lucky" part.  Because really, are we?  How much and how often?
And it doesn't matter.  Not ever.  But that's a concept that is almost impossible to share.
___

I saw this on PostSecret this morning, and it broke my heart.


Not even sure why, because in all likelyhood, it was a totally creepy and stalkery situation, otherwise there would have been more to it than a 30 minute stroll.  But still.

I guess Chuck still says it best "the one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person"
___

It sometimes seems to me that you only ever talk about you.  You are never too interested in me beyond what the weather here might be like, and then, only as a spring board to talk about you.  You only seek me out when you need to vent. 

I am really real, so where does that leave me?

Waking up to this world is stupid.
___

oh, and also?  There's this:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3819303/


-

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