Every time I try, it's just a disappointment. Not only a disappointment, but also somewhat embarrassing somehow. And yet I continue to do that to myself. Am I just stupid? At some point, it's not even about being a good person anymore, it's just about being an idiot.
Maybe typing this out will give me more incentive to just NOT from now on. That would be pretty cool actually, if I could just not.
No sense in just continually sliding down the cheese-grater, is there?
Obvious truth is obvious.
Just one divider mark here, because I'm not sure this is unrelated.
Woke up this morning with the following sentence on my lips.
"Having a heart is no longer an asset in this modern world, only a liability."
Not sure where I brought it back from, because I had been dreaming about a band of renegade muppets who were holding up a weird double-decker bus in the middle of a huge forest so that they could create a wall around their house to protect their giant strip of bacon from being discouvered.
Of course, I was helping them do this for some reason. Guess I fit in somewhere, eh?
Anyhow, I woke up with that line on my lips and in my head, went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, started a virus scan on my computer, put my shoes on to head to work.
That's when I found your text message. I don't know why. Me too? Only I want to be done. I can't take it anymore. I do know that the world owes you better. It was strange that your question which came while I was sleeping somehow matched my answer I had upon waking.
Maybe this is The Power Of The Oracle Of B. It's happened several times now where someone has texted me something while I was sleeping, and I dreamed of the same topic, or an answer to the question, or about the person sending me the text. And my phone is off at nights, so I don't like 'subconsciously hear it' or something. I have no idea till the next morning, after I wake up remembering the dream.
Maybe more people should text me in my sleep and seek my nonsensical wisdom.
Maybe I'm a savant when I'm awake too. Or maybe I just need to be 'put down'.
I got to work, only to tell someone else this:
"Life is a carefully orchestrated ballet of being close to a fall... of surfing on the edge of the abyss and not slipping over."
I left out the "If you're lucky" part. Because really, are we? How much and how often?
And it doesn't matter. Not ever. But that's a concept that is almost impossible to share.
I saw this on PostSecret this morning, and it broke my heart.
Not even sure why, because in all likelyhood, it was a totally creepy and stalkery situation, otherwise there would have been more to it than a 30 minute stroll. But still.
I guess Chuck still says it best "the one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person"
It sometimes seems to me that you only ever talk about you. You are never too interested in me beyond what the weather here might be like, and then, only as a spring board to talk about you. You only seek me out when you need to vent.
I am really real, so where does that leave me?
Waking up to this world is stupid.
oh, and also? There's this:http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3819303/