In the immortal words of TMBG, "If it wasn't for disappointment, I wouldn't have any appointments."
I can not determine if I am somehow The World's Largest Failure when it comes to the use of spray paint, or if I just ended up with a bad can, but in retrospect, it seems as though I have never had much luck with it as a medium to start with, so I am thinking it is just me. Which is really weird, because when it comes to the application of the majority of arts and crafts, I am usually quite adept. I tried to paint a couple of things, just to end up with a never drying sticky mess. I have since removed the paint, and I am attempting to do it over. I guess we will see how that goes.
I got the majority of the external stuff that I wanted to do to the car taken care of this weekend. Also got a sunburn for my efforts. Ordered another couple of pieces, which I think will finish up the project nicely.
Got a minimum of things done to the inside, but I guess there's no particular rush. The outside is the more time sensitive part, because I have to wait 24 hours before I can drive for some things, which means I can only mess with it on a weekend.
I mainly need to get off my duff and focus more intently on Halloweening.
I've been King Turd the past week or 2 about actually getting shit done. To be fair, there was stuff going on around the house though which made it more difficult, and served to break my stride. Now that it's all back to "normal" (lololol), I need to re-focus and get back in my work mode.
The world ... MY world seems really quiet these days. I don't really talk to anyone any more. Or at least it's a lot more rare. I feel like I used to talk to lots of people, regularly. Especially in the Myspace days, and even after that. It gradually slowed down, and then I went through a spell where I had an absurdly jealous GF for a bit (idkwtf that was about) and I talked to people a little less during that time, just out of a sense of self preservation and wanting to make my life easier. After that, the downward trend continued. I just saw less and less reason to bother. The majority of people only talk to you if they want something anyhow, and I got tired of trying, and feeling frustration at it being lopsided.
If I am going to feel frustrated, I would rather feel frustrated that no one bothers to talk to me, than feel frustrated that I am the one who always has to seek people out and start conversations. May be only semantic differences, but it feels less annoying.
Back in December / January when I dropped off the earth for a bit... that's when I gave up. And like since then, only like 1 hands worth of people that I used to talk to ever bothered to talk to me again. And that's OK, because it lets me know that I was right to not bother anymore.
Maybe as people get older, they naturally get less social. It's more than that though. When I was younger, I was always an outsider because I never did drugs, or smoked or drank. That always bothered people, and they kept a distance. Now that I am older, that is less of a factor (but trust me, it's still a thing). The larger factor now, is that I am not married (nor do I ever plan to be), and I do not have any kids. People seem to expect that everyone should be involved in all that mess to some degree or another, just like they felt like everyone should be involved with some form of intoxicants at a younger age. When you go completely against the established 'norms', people feel weird around you.
And shit, dude. I just want to make art and talk about falling upwards into the stars. I want to carve pumpkins and imagine places where the leaves change with the seasons. Sometimes I wish I had the means to just start all over.
Of course, being nonhuman in a human world / society certainly doesn't help.
I dreamed last night that I was looking at a house to see if I was going to buy it.
The outside, and the basic layout reminded me a lot of Wallingstone Manor. I went in and began to look around. I glanced in each room, and it was about 90% similar. However, once I actually sent inside any given room, things became strange. The first bedroom to the left was rectangular shaped, moving away from the door. I walked to the far end, and saw that the room was actually L shaped, with the part around the corner going back toward the door of the house. Given the relative dimensions, this should have been impossible, because it would have cause the house to be shaped in a way where the room prevented access to the door that I entered the house by.
I looked back towards the door of the room, and remembered that I had walked down 3 short steps, which was somehow supposed to explain it. In my head, I decided that the room went underground, which made it work.
At the part around the corner in the L shaped room, a flight of stairs went even lower. I took those down, and went through a door, into a very large room. This room was the size of most large living room + dining room + kitchen combo spaces. It had built in shelving, and some cool pipeworks near the ceiling. It really had the feel of an underground room, like a basement or something, but made into a really cool living space. I wandered around and took in the details. The angle of this room would have put it under the front yard, under the garage, and maybe even out far enough to be partially under the street in front of the house. I was amazed that they had gotten away with building something like this.
Which is when I noticed the windows, looking out into a well maintained yard. Confused, and a bit disturbed, I went back up to the hallway, past the living room, and back out the front door. Looking around the house exterior, this was physically impossible. Not to even mention that the 4 side-by-side windows in that room did not even appear on the house.
I went back in, back down and around and down again, and sure enough, still windows, still yard. Also saw a door at the far end of this room, which I went through. This led to another really nice library type room (which I am pretty much ALL about in my life). This one had windows on 3 sides, the left side, you should have been able to look out of and see the windows for the room I just came from, as well as the exterior of the house, but nope. just hedges and yard.
There were several other rooms down here that were similar to this.
Eventually, mystified, I went back to the real level of the house, and went into another of the 3 or 4 supposed bedrooms of this place. This as well, had a path leading down. This one went down several stories, all the wile, having rooms with impossible views and impossible windows. This one eventually went down to a Very large room which was sort of like a cross between a church, an ancient temple, a cave, a shrine, and a luxury spa / bath. I don't even. This room had a ceiling about 3 stories tall.
I went out of this one, and back to the long room which led to it, and noticed a door in the wall half way to the door leading to the huge room. Given standard physics, this door should have opened into that room. I opened it and looked in, and it went into a massive library that had no choice but to be occupying the same space as the huge cavern room, yet they did not connect to one another in any way.
This entire experience was equal parts amazing and creepy. Not only was the place bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, but it clearly had a different interaction with space/time than reality, and it did not even mind overlapping it's own self.
The weirdness of it all created enough of a sense of unease that it woke me up, several times, actually, because every time I fell back asleep, I seem to have ended up exploring it again and again, always finding something new.
Guess that I won't be finding one like that, huh?