poisonedgrace: (Chaos Reigns)


OK, so yesterday, I went to Lowe's hardware store for a couple of things for a venting system I am building. 
I swear the entire thing was directed by David Lynch and I just didn't know where the cameras are.

I went in, found what I was looking for and made my way up to the front.
I still get some odd looks in the new area I live in, but you know, whatever.

Made it to the checkout and got in line.
The cashier was a really awesome little lady who might remind one of The Man From Another Place (Twin peaks).
Only she was smaller, and twisted and gnarled like a beautiful tree. 
She works the register there a lot and I have seen her several times before.

She was ringing up an old hippie couple who were clad head to toe in faded denim and american flag print + red, white and blue accessories.  They were having this truly bizarre in depth conversation about venus fly traps, and how exactly the flies were killed and dissolved.

This went on for a VERY AWKWARDLY LONG TIME.  And the conversation was like they were truly talking of the most mystic, ancient and serious concepts in All Of Creation.

Around that time, another dude came and opened the next register and said he could help me there.
He was like a strange deep south accent gay cowboy.
So it was getting more surreal by the moment.

It took him about 3 minutes to log into the register because he just kept doing it over and over.
THEN, he got involved in the venus fly trap conversation!  And he started making phone calls about it!

So I am just sort of standing there, thrilled to my marrow about how delightfully bizarre all this is, and finally the dude hangs up the phone and proudly and loudly announces that "STEVE WILL BE HERE IN A FEW MINUTES AND HE IS BRINGING A VENUS FLY TRAP!"

I didn't know it I should laugh or weep at this point.

He finally got me all checked out and i paid for my 6x6x6 vent splitter (I shit you not) and left with a huge grin on my face.























poisonedgrace: (G.K.)


I woke up this morning from a dream I was having in which I was defending some place (a cross between a castle with a courtyard, and a trailer house[!!]) from a vampire attack.  I had already captured one of them, and had him somehow restrained.  He was giving me the low-down on the other ones so that I could defeat them.  He was pretending to be a good guy, but I did not trust him (I mean really, who would?  I'm so sick of 'vampire good guys' in the media lately, vampires are for one thing, and that is killing.  No if's, and's or but's.)

I was all suited up, wearing some sort of heavy armour, and various layers of fancy attire.  The whole thing was very WH Vampire Counts somehow.  I was supposed to be fully prepared and on my horse with my spear before he showed up, and then he was supposed to be easy to defeat.  I had trouble getting all suited up in this crap, so I was running late.  He showed up on his horse, and I was completely unprepared.

He rode in to an area that was simultaneously the courtyard by the castle, and the living-room of the trailer house.  I hadn't buckled on my sword yet, and my coat was still buttoned up, limiting my range of movement in my arms.  Everyone knows that you need to unbutton your longcoat before a good sword fight.  GOSH!  I didn't even know where my spear was, and I hadn't seen my horse at all.

Pretty unhappy about that.  This was not going how I had planned.

The vampire was wearing ornate red, blue and gold armour, with an armoured / barded horse to match.  He did not see me, thus dismounted.  Had he known I was coming for him, he would have remained mounted and there is no way I would even have a chance.  I knew he would know of my plan soon though, so I had no choice but to try to take him unawares.

I rushed at him, trying to unbutton my coat with my left hand, and draw my dadao with my right.  Neither thing worked correctly.  My coat came loose at 2 of the 3 buttons, but the 3rd one was stubborn.  The sword came loose slowly and clumsily awkward so that I did not have a proper grip on it.  My feet never stopped rushing, however.  Luckily, he was as unprepared as I, however he recouvered from it more swiftly.

Before I could get my coat undone and my sword corrected, he had drawn his and was pressing the attack.  It was all I could do to defend myself with my stifled movement range.  After a brief exchange, my coat finally came undone, I gripped my dadao and flung myself at him, again taking him by surprise.  The fight was a lot more even now, and things were just getting exciting
when I woke up.
___

And if you think my dreams are strange, look what happened when I got to work...

I came in, sat my stuff down, logged in and did a couple of the morning tasks that I need to do.  I got a momentary breather, and intended to use it to avail myself to the restroom.  Heroically none the less! 

Those of you who know me well at all know that I have bathroom issues.  I HATE HATE HATE public restrooms, be they work, gas stations, restaurants, or even houses that I am not very familiar with.  I really only feel at peace using the bathroom at a couple of places, so I try to avoid hem as much as possible.

But this was one of those unavoidable times.  I went to the restroom, and as soon as I opened the door and stepped in, what did I see?
My bosses bosses boss.  Wearing NOTHING but a towel.  And a smile.  Standing in the middle of the bathroom.

Needless to say, my first instinct was to flee.

But it was too late, he saw me, smiled, and spoke. 
I had no options at that point.
So I just went in and washed my hands, as though that is what I had exclusively come for.
He asked me some questions about my Halloween costume, and began (still wearing his towel) to shave in the sink beside the one I was washing my hands in.  He's a great guy, don't get me wrong, but restrooms are weird enough for me, and I was not expecting that.

I went and found a different (and empty) restroom after I had washed my hands.
LOL

It's the sort of day where I wonder what will happen next.
___

My cysts have been hurting the past few days, and I haven't really gotten much done because of it. :(
___

Speaking of silly things happening at work...
As soon as I came in yesterday, I get this IM...

Lori is freaking out because there is a snake in the house.  I was totally alarmed and began to wonder how I could get out of work and go save her and 'Sani from the evils of snakes in the house.  I was wondering if the snake could somehow hurt Nigel, and exactly how in the shit a snake even GOT in the house to start with.  About a million things went through my mind at once.  She was telling me how she ran and hid from it and got her laptop to tell me.

Then suddenly everything stopped, and I replied with
"Where is the snake?"
She says "In the hall right by 'Sani's bathroom!"

Then I cracked up laughing.  So hard I had to put my hands over my mouth.

I said "You haven't noticed that thing laying there?  It's been in the exact same spot since Halloween!"
I explained that it was a small plastic snake from a Halloween gift bucket.
I had poked it under the bathroom door when 'Sani was showering, like 3 weeks ago.
Since she likes to ignore it when I do things like poke plastic Halloween gift bucket snakes under the bathroom door while she is trying to shower, it's been laying in the same place where she stepped on it coming out of the bathroom.

I guess it's a good thing that it was a plastic snake, 'cause Lori didn't notice it for 3 weeks, and if it had been a real one, we would have all been in trouble.

To commemorate her Harrowing Snake Adventure, I got her another small plastic snake (of a different colour) as a keepsake.

Yes, my life IS a never ending parade of WTF!
:D :D
poisonedgrace: (Default)
Insanity vs Spammers, round 2





poisonedgrace: (Default)
Insanity vs Spammers, round 2





poisonedgrace: (lol truck)
It's really cold in here today. I wonder if that's going to be standard for the new place they have me sitting.
___

Went to Lowes last night to get the final bits for The Cave (2.0). Since last time I went in and bought a long wooden pole, they've moved them. Now granted it's been a good few years. Last time I bought one was back when I realized how much cheaper it was than a 'real' staff for my martial arts classes. And srsly, a long wooden stick is a long wooden stick for all practical purposes.

Anyhow, I went in and they were not where they used to be. No problem, I needed to buy a couple of dowels anyhow, so I went to where they should have been. I bought a dowel right before Halloween, at the Lowes right by my mom's house. Went to the same area in the one by my house, and there was nothing of the sort. Got to wander around looking for it, and quickly saw that the stores do not have even a remotely similar organization scheme. Things were seemingly placed at random. I remembered buying a dowel there at that location before, so I went where they had been then.

Nope, they were moved as well. Wandered around looking for someone to ask, but like many large chain stores, the employees practice Retail Ninjutsu. You know this art? The one where they endlessly hound you as though you're robbing the place when you do not need assistance, but once you do, they vanish in a puff of smoke and you can't find them even if you're screaming at the top of your lungs? These were skilled retail ninjas!

I finally found the dowels, and got what I needed, but the large wooden poles were not located near the dowels (which is kinda silly because dowels are really just short wooden poles :/ ) I FINALLY found a guy to ask. He had several rather interesting notions on where they were located and led me on a jaunty path around the entire store several times, and remained, even after asking "the guy in plumbing" where they were, still failed. He wandered off to find someone else to ask.

I was just about to ask some other guy, when guy 1 comes back all triumphant like and says he found them. So he leads me ceremoniously to a section containing long... METAL poles. I thanked him and waited for him to leave because clearly he was worse than no help at all.

I was totally wondering how bloody cunting hard it was to locate a WOODEN STICK in a store such as Lowes when I decided to just give up and go see the curtain rods. Unfortunately they're usually like... collapsible and stuff to fit various sized windows / doors, and I was hoping for something a bit more sturdy. But having been shown shower curtains a-plenty and some really terrible metal closet stuff, I figured anything was worth a shot, right?

Of course, the new isle where they decided to locate the long wooden poles was right by the mini blinds, which makes... total... sense? The mini blinds happen to be down the isle with the curtains and curtain rods. So that worked out in a weird sort of way I guess.

Armed with my amazing new epic wooden stick:
EPIC, BRO!
I went home.

I had borrowed a drill from my step-dad to finish up some hanging of things that needed to happen, and to put the final addition of the epically hidden wooden pole into place, and of course the battery died after 3 seconds of use, so that wasn't accomplished either. I'll have to go up there soon and trade out batteries.
___

I guess I burned myself out on the tale of Lowes, and on going to all the trouble to craft you a custom made graphic, because I find myself ready to be done with the blog now.

Good day, sir.
poisonedgrace: (lol truck)
It's really cold in here today. I wonder if that's going to be standard for the new place they have me sitting.
___

Went to Lowes last night to get the final bits for The Cave (2.0). Since last time I went in and bought a long wooden pole, they've moved them. Now granted it's been a good few years. Last time I bought one was back when I realized how much cheaper it was than a 'real' staff for my martial arts classes. And srsly, a long wooden stick is a long wooden stick for all practical purposes.

Anyhow, I went in and they were not where they used to be. No problem, I needed to buy a couple of dowels anyhow, so I went to where they should have been. I bought a dowel right before Halloween, at the Lowes right by my mom's house. Went to the same area in the one by my house, and there was nothing of the sort. Got to wander around looking for it, and quickly saw that the stores do not have even a remotely similar organization scheme. Things were seemingly placed at random. I remembered buying a dowel there at that location before, so I went where they had been then.

Nope, they were moved as well. Wandered around looking for someone to ask, but like many large chain stores, the employees practice Retail Ninjutsu. You know this art? The one where they endlessly hound you as though you're robbing the place when you do not need assistance, but once you do, they vanish in a puff of smoke and you can't find them even if you're screaming at the top of your lungs? These were skilled retail ninjas!

I finally found the dowels, and got what I needed, but the large wooden poles were not located near the dowels (which is kinda silly because dowels are really just short wooden poles :/ ) I FINALLY found a guy to ask. He had several rather interesting notions on where they were located and led me on a jaunty path around the entire store several times, and remained, even after asking "the guy in plumbing" where they were, still failed. He wandered off to find someone else to ask.

I was just about to ask some other guy, when guy 1 comes back all triumphant like and says he found them. So he leads me ceremoniously to a section containing long... METAL poles. I thanked him and waited for him to leave because clearly he was worse than no help at all.

I was totally wondering how bloody cunting hard it was to locate a WOODEN STICK in a store such as Lowes when I decided to just give up and go see the curtain rods. Unfortunately they're usually like... collapsible and stuff to fit various sized windows / doors, and I was hoping for something a bit more sturdy. But having been shown shower curtains a-plenty and some really terrible metal closet stuff, I figured anything was worth a shot, right?

Of course, the new isle where they decided to locate the long wooden poles was right by the mini blinds, which makes... total... sense? The mini blinds happen to be down the isle with the curtains and curtain rods. So that worked out in a weird sort of way I guess.

Armed with my amazing new epic wooden stick:
EPIC, BRO!
I went home.

I had borrowed a drill from my step-dad to finish up some hanging of things that needed to happen, and to put the final addition of the epically hidden wooden pole into place, and of course the battery died after 3 seconds of use, so that wasn't accomplished either. I'll have to go up there soon and trade out batteries.
___

I guess I burned myself out on the tale of Lowes, and on going to all the trouble to craft you a custom made graphic, because I find myself ready to be done with the blog now.

Good day, sir.
poisonedgrace: (Default)
Can I get a WTF with a side of OMG?




Seriously, Chick-fil-a? You're so Christian Family Values that you won't even open on Sunday, and then....?

GG
poisonedgrace: (Default)
Can I get a WTF with a side of OMG?




Seriously, Chick-fil-a? You're so Christian Family Values that you won't even open on Sunday, and then....?

GG
poisonedgrace: (lol truck)


Had a dream last night that I was flying in a desk.  One of those one piece school desks, you know?  The ones where the desk arm wraps around from the right, you slide in from the left and it had the little box or basket or whatever underneath and between the legs for storage.  It was one of those.

I had a little side-car on it.  It was just one of those plastic 'UNDER PENALTY OF LAW' milk-crates.  It had papers and stuff in it.  And maybe burritos.

Some random people I know were also flying in desks with me.  We were like a flock of birds or a school of fish, cruising above the city in a formation.

The city itself is one I know not of, but I've dreamed it before.  Only usually from ground level.  I began to notice that below, in the streets and lots of the city, that there were a whole lot of these different antique cars, all painted the same shade of red.  Myself and another Desk Pilot flew lower to get a better look. 

We weren't supposed to because we weren't supposed to break formation, but we didn't care and we somehow knew that we wouldn't get in trouble for it.

As we left the crowd I noticed that he had a passenger on his desk.  Well not like ON the desk, but he didn't have a side-car with junk like me, so he had room somehow for a second person.  I realized that I knew her and hadn't expected to see her here.  We tried to chat, but that's hard to do when you're piloting a magical flying desk that's powered by your willpower and focus of attention. 

We stopped so she could climb on my desk so we could talk.  We took off again, but it was a lot harder to work the desk with both a side-car and a passenger.

The side-car was filled with books and burritos mostly, and they were very important so I couldn't ditch them, and I certainly didn't want to part with my friend whom I was so happy to see.

It was a struggle though to make the desk work right.  Then, my friend started hugging me and kissing the back of my neck.  Yeah, a flying desk operated by focus, concentration and willpower is practically doomed at that point.

We ended up in some weird shipping yard or warehouse or something.  Two desks, three people and some books and burritos.  Everything started to go awry and there was something to do with some sort of sinister evil force, and there was me and my friend / passenger totally making out in the face of impending doom. 

The other Desk Pilot was getting upset about the unleashed evil, but then I realized that the burritos had spilled out of the side-car, which was the problem apparently.  Once the burritos were correctly put back into place, the evil was sealed and could not cause trouble.

So then, my desk sort of orbited aimlessly around the area while I made out with my cute friend who somehow ended up tagging along with the flying desk brigade.  She's weird that way I suppose.

Hahaha!  This ended up being much longer than I expected it to.


After all this, I also had a dream where I walked in on Vincent Gallo while he was sleeping. 
At least once he woke up he was happy to see me again.


Somehow I'm still sleepy this morning.

poisonedgrace: (lol truck)


Had a dream last night that I was flying in a desk.  One of those one piece school desks, you know?  The ones where the desk arm wraps around from the right, you slide in from the left and it had the little box or basket or whatever underneath and between the legs for storage.  It was one of those.

I had a little side-car on it.  It was just one of those plastic 'UNDER PENALTY OF LAW' milk-crates.  It had papers and stuff in it.  And maybe burritos.

Some random people I know were also flying in desks with me.  We were like a flock of birds or a school of fish, cruising above the city in a formation.

The city itself is one I know not of, but I've dreamed it before.  Only usually from ground level.  I began to notice that below, in the streets and lots of the city, that there were a whole lot of these different antique cars, all painted the same shade of red.  Myself and another Desk Pilot flew lower to get a better look. 

We weren't supposed to because we weren't supposed to break formation, but we didn't care and we somehow knew that we wouldn't get in trouble for it.

As we left the crowd I noticed that he had a passenger on his desk.  Well not like ON the desk, but he didn't have a side-car with junk like me, so he had room somehow for a second person.  I realized that I knew her and hadn't expected to see her here.  We tried to chat, but that's hard to do when you're piloting a magical flying desk that's powered by your willpower and focus of attention. 

We stopped so she could climb on my desk so we could talk.  We took off again, but it was a lot harder to work the desk with both a side-car and a passenger.

The side-car was filled with books and burritos mostly, and they were very important so I couldn't ditch them, and I certainly didn't want to part with my friend whom I was so happy to see.

It was a struggle though to make the desk work right.  Then, my friend started hugging me and kissing the back of my neck.  Yeah, a flying desk operated by focus, concentration and willpower is practically doomed at that point.

We ended up in some weird shipping yard or warehouse or something.  Two desks, three people and some books and burritos.  Everything started to go awry and there was something to do with some sort of sinister evil force, and there was me and my friend / passenger totally making out in the face of impending doom. 

The other Desk Pilot was getting upset about the unleashed evil, but then I realized that the burritos had spilled out of the side-car, which was the problem apparently.  Once the burritos were correctly put back into place, the evil was sealed and could not cause trouble.

So then, my desk sort of orbited aimlessly around the area while I made out with my cute friend who somehow ended up tagging along with the flying desk brigade.  She's weird that way I suppose.

Hahaha!  This ended up being much longer than I expected it to.


After all this, I also had a dream where I walked in on Vincent Gallo while he was sleeping. 
At least once he woke up he was happy to see me again.


Somehow I'm still sleepy this morning.

poisonedgrace: (wtfbear)

So...
I was awakened this morning before dawn by the police banging on my door.
O_o
Well, of course I didn't know it was the police at first.  I didn't know what the heck was going on.
I checked my phone, cause anyone who knows me and has a legitimate reason to come by my house knows that I don't have a doorbell, and to call or text upon arrival.  Nothing on the phone.  So I search out my glasses, stagger to my old hideous robe and make it to the door.

I stand in front of the door for a second, thinking "WTF is the apartment complex on fire again?"
Because I mean this was some SERIOUS pounding on the door!  I almost thought the Zombie Apocalypse had begun and my Crew had come to collect me to begin Project Survival.

I made a note to myself on where the nearest things were that could be used to bludgeon any prospective Home Invaders, and opened up the door.

I was greeted by flashing lights, which my sleepy brain first translated to 'fire' .  Two APD officers were standing there.  I expected to be told I had to evacuate the place.  Instead they asked me how I was. 

I said "Umm... fine?  I was sleeping."
They said "We need to know who all lives here, sir."
I probably would have been suspicious and / or mouthy and stuff, but I was really discombobulated, what with the pre-dawn and flashing lights and banging and cops and all.
I replied "Just me and my room-mate"
They said "What is yor room-mate's name?"
I told them.
They said they needed to come in and speak with her.  Which is about the weirdest damn thing ever, because If there is any person on the planet even LESS likely than myself to get a visit from the cops these days, it's her.  I immediately figured that her estranged mother must have done something hideous and gotten killed or something, because that's pretty much the only reason the cops would ever come looking for her.

I said "Sure, let me get her.  Is everything alright?"
They said that it was a private matter.    O_o
I assumed that was cop talk for "shut up before we hit you with a club".

So I went and woke her up and told her that the cops were there to see her, she needed to come talk to them.

She was getting herself together, and I was in the living room with the cops, who are glaring around the place suspiciously.  Keep in mind that my place pretty much looks like a cross between The Munster's Storage Shed, The Manson Family Rec Room, Dracula's Birthday Party, and  Mad Max's Fortress of Solitude.  Bigger Cop says "So... uhhh...  Interesting... Items you have here..."  Smaller Cop kinda glares and nods.  I say "Ummm... yeah... ahhh..  I'm sort of a.... well.... a crappy artist."   Cue cops noding sagely as though that explains everything.

***SIDE NOTE*** I ALWAYS falter on that.  Saying that I'm an "artist".  Sure I make things... but... does that really make me an 'artist'?  I'm not 'professional' at all.  I don't have a degree in any sort of art related field.  I don't have much in the way of formal training.  But saying "I'm kind of a weird mythical-animal-thing from another dimension who sometimes paints, sculpts and crafts strange artifacts" really does not seem like very efficient communication, so I tend to use the word "artist", because it seems a convenient human word to get the point across.  Why do I always feel like such an amazing phony when I do?  I don't often sell anything I make and when I do, I feel like some weird asshole and I end up selling it for a small fraction of what it is likely even worth.  I know some REAL artists, and It is unlikely that even if I spent a lifetime attempting to, I would never be what they are.  It's not something I am upset over, I'm just being realistic.  I am fine and happy with the stuff that I make, but to consider myself an 'artist' just seems like I am somehow being terribly pretentious.  I don't make anything unless I feel like making it.  When I do it's usually for a specific person, event or purpose.  I do not earn a living, or even a portion of my living from it.  I'm not even very GOOD at any of it, I just do what i like because I like it.  So, what am I? ***SIDE NOTE***

 Then my room-mate comes walking into the living room, and the cops take one glance at her, then look at one another like this:
O_o
o_O
O_O
They ask her her name.  She answers.  They ask if she has ID, which she retrieves.  They ask how long we have lived at that address.  They sort of laugh a little, and apologize, saying that they very clearly have the wrong person.  They show her a picture of the girl they are ACTUALLY looking for, who just happens to have a very similar name.  They explain that said girl has "some business that she needs to deal with."  They are very polite and cordial at this point.  They tell her they'll file a report that they came by and spoke with her and (I assume so that she shouldn't be bothered by this issue again as they look for the correct person).  They bid us good day, and take their leave.

After I lock the door, I ask my room mate "What did she look like?"
She says "Chubby Mexican girl. Short blonde hair."
I crack up laughing.
I say "Holy shit!  Being BLACK actually HELPED you with the cops for once!!!"
She says "Haha!  I guess so!"

She went back to bed.  I got ready for work, because after this was all done, it was about time for me to get up anyhow.

poisonedgrace: (wtfbear)

So...
I was awakened this morning before dawn by the police banging on my door.
O_o
Well, of course I didn't know it was the police at first.  I didn't know what the heck was going on.
I checked my phone, cause anyone who knows me and has a legitimate reason to come by my house knows that I don't have a doorbell, and to call or text upon arrival.  Nothing on the phone.  So I search out my glasses, stagger to my old hideous robe and make it to the door.

I stand in front of the door for a second, thinking "WTF is the apartment complex on fire again?"
Because I mean this was some SERIOUS pounding on the door!  I almost thought the Zombie Apocalypse had begun and my Crew had come to collect me to begin Project Survival.

I made a note to myself on where the nearest things were that could be used to bludgeon any prospective Home Invaders, and opened up the door.

I was greeted by flashing lights, which my sleepy brain first translated to 'fire' .  Two APD officers were standing there.  I expected to be told I had to evacuate the place.  Instead they asked me how I was. 

I said "Umm... fine?  I was sleeping."
They said "We need to know who all lives here, sir."
I probably would have been suspicious and / or mouthy and stuff, but I was really discombobulated, what with the pre-dawn and flashing lights and banging and cops and all.
I replied "Just me and my room-mate"
They said "What is yor room-mate's name?"
I told them.
They said they needed to come in and speak with her.  Which is about the weirdest damn thing ever, because If there is any person on the planet even LESS likely than myself to get a visit from the cops these days, it's her.  I immediately figured that her estranged mother must have done something hideous and gotten killed or something, because that's pretty much the only reason the cops would ever come looking for her.

I said "Sure, let me get her.  Is everything alright?"
They said that it was a private matter.    O_o
I assumed that was cop talk for "shut up before we hit you with a club".

So I went and woke her up and told her that the cops were there to see her, she needed to come talk to them.

She was getting herself together, and I was in the living room with the cops, who are glaring around the place suspiciously.  Keep in mind that my place pretty much looks like a cross between The Munster's Storage Shed, The Manson Family Rec Room, Dracula's Birthday Party, and  Mad Max's Fortress of Solitude.  Bigger Cop says "So... uhhh...  Interesting... Items you have here..."  Smaller Cop kinda glares and nods.  I say "Ummm... yeah... ahhh..  I'm sort of a.... well.... a crappy artist."   Cue cops noding sagely as though that explains everything.

***SIDE NOTE*** I ALWAYS falter on that.  Saying that I'm an "artist".  Sure I make things... but... does that really make me an 'artist'?  I'm not 'professional' at all.  I don't have a degree in any sort of art related field.  I don't have much in the way of formal training.  But saying "I'm kind of a weird mythical-animal-thing from another dimension who sometimes paints, sculpts and crafts strange artifacts" really does not seem like very efficient communication, so I tend to use the word "artist", because it seems a convenient human word to get the point across.  Why do I always feel like such an amazing phony when I do?  I don't often sell anything I make and when I do, I feel like some weird asshole and I end up selling it for a small fraction of what it is likely even worth.  I know some REAL artists, and It is unlikely that even if I spent a lifetime attempting to, I would never be what they are.  It's not something I am upset over, I'm just being realistic.  I am fine and happy with the stuff that I make, but to consider myself an 'artist' just seems like I am somehow being terribly pretentious.  I don't make anything unless I feel like making it.  When I do it's usually for a specific person, event or purpose.  I do not earn a living, or even a portion of my living from it.  I'm not even very GOOD at any of it, I just do what i like because I like it.  So, what am I? ***SIDE NOTE***

 Then my room-mate comes walking into the living room, and the cops take one glance at her, then look at one another like this:
O_o
o_O
O_O
They ask her her name.  She answers.  They ask if she has ID, which she retrieves.  They ask how long we have lived at that address.  They sort of laugh a little, and apologize, saying that they very clearly have the wrong person.  They show her a picture of the girl they are ACTUALLY looking for, who just happens to have a very similar name.  They explain that said girl has "some business that she needs to deal with."  They are very polite and cordial at this point.  They tell her they'll file a report that they came by and spoke with her and (I assume so that she shouldn't be bothered by this issue again as they look for the correct person).  They bid us good day, and take their leave.

After I lock the door, I ask my room mate "What did she look like?"
She says "Chubby Mexican girl. Short blonde hair."
I crack up laughing.
I say "Holy shit!  Being BLACK actually HELPED you with the cops for once!!!"
She says "Haha!  I guess so!"

She went back to bed.  I got ready for work, because after this was all done, it was about time for me to get up anyhow.

poisonedgrace: (Default)



lolpig

And YES, lolpigs ALWAYS rhyme.
It's one of the rules.
poisonedgrace: (Default)



lolpig

And YES, lolpigs ALWAYS rhyme.
It's one of the rules.
poisonedgrace: (wtfbear)


When I got home Saturday, I fell asleep unexpectedly.  I was in the middle of doing 3 or 4 things at once.  I was in my cave, I had 2 computers going that I was working with at the same time.  That's as in 2 monitors, 2 keyboards, and a mouse for each one.  I had some papers I was looking over, as well as a couple of ongoing exchanges of information via text on my phone.  Somehow, in the midst of all this, I fell asleep.

Then, I dreamed that I was Abe Lincoln.  I had come back from the dead in a distant future, or a parallel world.  The whole thing had this very existential Silver Surfer sort of vibe to it.  At first, I was just flying around (apparently Abe is a bad ass in my dreams?  Which is odd, cause IMO he was sort of a douche IRL [ YMMV, QQ {again} ] ) looking at these massive crowds of people. 

I say 'people'...  But these people were all sorts of humans and weird creatures.  It was a cross section of the entire universe, and across all dimensions.  There were all sorts of aliens and strange creatures milling about together.  Massive crowds of them.  There was a big spiral staircase, reaching from the ground, all the way up into the clouds, maybe into space.  It was miles wide and it was just packed with all these different kinds of people.

I saw them all, and judged them equal (a lot better than the REAL Abe managed when he looked at people, but hey, I was Super Abe!).  I saw that they were suffering and being opressed.  I was confused and bewildered for a bit while I got my bearings.  It was a strange world to wake up to.  I slowly flew around the staircase, but I was still near the bottom.  I was huge.  Built thick, like an Alex Ross version of Superman.  I flew just like him too, sort of slow and languid like while I took all this in.  I took a deep breath, tensed my mighty thews (there's a little fun for you Robert Howard fans <3 ) and scratched my beard.

I reached somewhere sort of behind me or to the side, I think at my belt, and pulled out my stovepipe top hat, and a magic dagger.  I seated the hat firmly on my head, raised my dagger aloft and cried out in a voice that echo'd through out the universe.  I said: "Hear ye, peoples of the universe!  I am returned to deliver you from the Great Dragon that has defeated you!  I shall henceforth fly to the heights of His domain, and dispatch Him forthwith!"

I started to fly up the spiral staircase.  Multitudes of people below were cheering, waving, calling to me and celebrating.  All different sorts of creatures in harmony and joy.  It was a really lovely sight.  I flew to the top of the stairs and passed some rooms and buildings and stuff.  I flew past a large open window and saw inside, all the other presidents, before and after me.  They were sitting around a table, and Obama was standing up talking to them.  As I flew past, they all looked at me and I looked back, magical dagger held high.  I locked eyes with Obama, Washington standing behind him, and we solemnly nodded to one another, and I flew up into space, past the clouds.

I flew through space and time until I came to a huge room with a giant couch.  On the couch, curled up and asleep was a huge evil golden dragon.  His skin was like molten bronze, and the whole scene was like something out of the Book of Revelation.  I said in a whisper "Death has come to you, Tiamat." (lol, I am SO WTF about this dream).

I quickly flew down before he could stir, and seized his neck, holding him down.  I thrust my magic dagger into his throat and started digging around with it.  Hot liquid was flowing out over my hands and a rank burning was filling the air. 

That's when I woke up.
I woke up, looked around and said aloud "WHAT. THE. FUCK?!... That was AWESOME!"
I was immediately regretful that I had woken up because I would love to know what happened next.
I sorta wish I could draw really well because I want to make 'Abe Lincoln, Super Hero' comics now.


poisonedgrace: (wtfbear)


When I got home Saturday, I fell asleep unexpectedly.  I was in the middle of doing 3 or 4 things at once.  I was in my cave, I had 2 computers going that I was working with at the same time.  That's as in 2 monitors, 2 keyboards, and a mouse for each one.  I had some papers I was looking over, as well as a couple of ongoing exchanges of information via text on my phone.  Somehow, in the midst of all this, I fell asleep.

Then, I dreamed that I was Abe Lincoln.  I had come back from the dead in a distant future, or a parallel world.  The whole thing had this very existential Silver Surfer sort of vibe to it.  At first, I was just flying around (apparently Abe is a bad ass in my dreams?  Which is odd, cause IMO he was sort of a douche IRL [ YMMV, QQ {again} ] ) looking at these massive crowds of people. 

I say 'people'...  But these people were all sorts of humans and weird creatures.  It was a cross section of the entire universe, and across all dimensions.  There were all sorts of aliens and strange creatures milling about together.  Massive crowds of them.  There was a big spiral staircase, reaching from the ground, all the way up into the clouds, maybe into space.  It was miles wide and it was just packed with all these different kinds of people.

I saw them all, and judged them equal (a lot better than the REAL Abe managed when he looked at people, but hey, I was Super Abe!).  I saw that they were suffering and being opressed.  I was confused and bewildered for a bit while I got my bearings.  It was a strange world to wake up to.  I slowly flew around the staircase, but I was still near the bottom.  I was huge.  Built thick, like an Alex Ross version of Superman.  I flew just like him too, sort of slow and languid like while I took all this in.  I took a deep breath, tensed my mighty thews (there's a little fun for you Robert Howard fans <3 ) and scratched my beard.

I reached somewhere sort of behind me or to the side, I think at my belt, and pulled out my stovepipe top hat, and a magic dagger.  I seated the hat firmly on my head, raised my dagger aloft and cried out in a voice that echo'd through out the universe.  I said: "Hear ye, peoples of the universe!  I am returned to deliver you from the Great Dragon that has defeated you!  I shall henceforth fly to the heights of His domain, and dispatch Him forthwith!"

I started to fly up the spiral staircase.  Multitudes of people below were cheering, waving, calling to me and celebrating.  All different sorts of creatures in harmony and joy.  It was a really lovely sight.  I flew to the top of the stairs and passed some rooms and buildings and stuff.  I flew past a large open window and saw inside, all the other presidents, before and after me.  They were sitting around a table, and Obama was standing up talking to them.  As I flew past, they all looked at me and I looked back, magical dagger held high.  I locked eyes with Obama, Washington standing behind him, and we solemnly nodded to one another, and I flew up into space, past the clouds.

I flew through space and time until I came to a huge room with a giant couch.  On the couch, curled up and asleep was a huge evil golden dragon.  His skin was like molten bronze, and the whole scene was like something out of the Book of Revelation.  I said in a whisper "Death has come to you, Tiamat." (lol, I am SO WTF about this dream).

I quickly flew down before he could stir, and seized his neck, holding him down.  I thrust my magic dagger into his throat and started digging around with it.  Hot liquid was flowing out over my hands and a rank burning was filling the air. 

That's when I woke up.
I woke up, looked around and said aloud "WHAT. THE. FUCK?!... That was AWESOME!"
I was immediately regretful that I had woken up because I would love to know what happened next.
I sorta wish I could draw really well because I want to make 'Abe Lincoln, Super Hero' comics now.


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