May. 1st, 2017

poisonedgrace: (Default)
I remember some dreams last night.  I know I wrote down some info after the first chunk, then fell back asleep, and did the same thing after the second chunk.

The first notes I discovered this morning when I woke up, said "Hero Family Costume".  Maybe it will open up my memory later in the day, and I will have some idea what it was about, but at this moment, It's not ringing a bell.  It's a shame to have lost the dream, but I think maybe it got overshadowed by the next one in the notes.

The next notes say "Midden Heap".  I remember this one very well, in hideously gruesome detail.

In this one, I didn't seem to be a direct participant, but more of a observer, like it was a movie, unfolding as I watched.  There was a house / property with a lot of people.  I say "a lot", but there were probably like 30ish people total.  Which is a lot in this context.  This was a very simple large extended family / clan + close "might as well be family" neighbors.  Almost like a really small rural village, from way back when.  Everything was simple and old, but I got the feeling that this setting was not back in the early / mid 1800s, but more like a post modern setting.  Not exactly Amish, but probably more like a great disaster had come (supported by other elements of the dream), and people had been forced into a setting where literally everything was hand made, or scavenged, or cobbled together in the most simple, settler way possible.

Everyone had jobs to do, and worked for the ongoing survival of the whole.  It seemed a lot of farming and hunting and gathering, and so forth.  I don't imagine that it was much different from the way the pilgrims lived.  Only without the crazy religious and colonizing mess.  Everything was relatively normal at first.  People worked, and talked and even laughed, but there were certain things that simply were not done, they had been dangerous for so long that they had become revered taboo.  The primary among these things, was not to go over the fence on the east side of the property.  That was an unsafe area that had never been reclaimed from whatever the apocalypse was.  I'm not sure if it was demons, or zombies or aliens or faeries, or what, but it had been an absolute end to pretty much all life, except for these isolated and now very poorly advanced pockets.  It had also happened so long ago that it was more of an abstract to the daily lives of these people (which is probably why I didn't know exactly what it was).  It was very actively unsafe, however, and there was a real threat, should someone enter into these areas.

So, of course, in this dream, someone did exactly that.  A younger man, probably late teens / early twenties, went over the fence, to an area called The Midden Heap.  It was just over a small fence, and it was a very old dilapidated sort of structure, that had once been something vaguely oval shaped, and had standing walls about 6 to 10 feet high.  The village (or whatever you call it) had been throwing their organic refuse (unusable food, unusable dead things, all human waste, and unusable animal waste, etc) across the fence into this structure for years.  It was like a huge above-ground pool of filth, decay, and poop, and it was beyond vile in every way.  It was probably even toxic, as the ground itself at this location was tainted by whatever the apocalypse had been.

So anyhow, this kid decided to cross the fence.  I don't know what happened to him over there, but he came back... wrong.  Insane / rabid wrong.  He had bouts of being aware of who he was, and knowing that something was wrong, and other times of just being wild.  He avoided people as much as he could, and became increasingly animalistic over time.  There was a lot more to this part, maybe even some 'reason' that he had gone over there, but I am lacking the details, aside from knowing that I am missing something.

Eventually, his skin started to take on this hue where he looked bruised all over.  Purples and yellows and greens.  He had an overwhelming compulsion to return to the wrong side of the fence.  He was also spotted by one of the people, and chased.  No one knew what was going on with him, so they had a search.

While they were getting organized, he crept back across the fence, and directly into the midden heap.  It was thick like mud, bit he wormed his way down into it, with only his nose barely above, so he could breathe, and to him, it was a good thing, he was following the drive he felt deep inside. They eventually spotted him over there some time later, not sure if days or weeks... skin the color of a rotten eggplant, swollen and bursting, eyes filled with maggots.  It was really gross and horrible to see.  

As they watched, and grieved for him, he sat up.  But not like regular..  (it would be easy to see on film, but harder to describe, so work with me here).  It was as though his rotting, swollen, maggot covered body, encased in the waste, had become a cocoon, and the thing that 'sat up' was whatever had been growing inside, splitting right through what appeared to be his body, the same as when a Cicada comes out of it's shell.

The thing that sat up was like a gobby, fleshy, ill proportioned insect, all wet and fatty.  After it freed itself from the flesh cocoon, it immediately began to dry out and harden up.  It had small, paper thin wings, that began to grow and harden as well, during this process.   Some of the villagers ran away, some scrambled to get weapons, some looked on in stunned and silent horror, some screamed and wept, or even fainted.  

After a few moments, the insect man thing took to the air and came right over the fence, into the sanctuary of the village.  Some of the people returned with pitchforks and shovels, and at least one had a crude flame thrower.  The monster landed on the branches of a tree, and overlooked the gathered humans.  Flamethrower guy shot a burst at it.  The monster swooped down to try to grab a villager or two, people tried to pitchfork it, there was screaming and running and more flamethrowing,
and I woke up.

The next dream, I managed to retain a lot of the details of as well:
I wasn't me in this one, or at least not this exact world's version of me.  I felt like it was me in the dream, and I didn't know anything an different, so maybe that me is me, and this me is the one who isn't really... But that's a whole other branch of dream philosophy.  I was a trans-woman, but much like in this world, it was just me, and I don't know a lot of details beyond that.  I was in some kind of big box store, wandering around.  I found some Ouija socks on clearance, and I got a pair for myself, and for my GF who was at home.

As I progressed through the store, I found a section with a bunch of Halloween stuff kind of tossed haphazardly about.  As I tried to root through it, some guy that I know came along.  We were friends, so we rooted through the stuff together.  He was a stumpy little guy with some sort of spots covering him, and I think he was some sort of animal hybrid or something.  As we were digging about, a few little talking hedgehogs came out of a nearby fixture, and had various antics.  

After a while of this, a severely intoxicated frat boy type came along, being a douche, as usual.  He had these 2 women with him.  They were dressed a little like me.  Sort of a day-glo crust-goth sort of thing, with torn clothing and fishnets and whatever.  I had pants with a lot of holes over my fishnets, and they both had super short skirts with their butts out though.  The guy thought he was really cool because he thought that he was actually "with" them, and that he was some kind of stud, but any even casual observer could easily tell that they were just having a lark at him.

He was really irritating though, and made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe, so I left the area with my stumpy friend.  We kinda wandered around the place, and we were in an area with tons of TVs and musical instruments.  There was also a coffee / cafe area right beside it.  After a bit, the two women came along, having grown bored of the drunk guy, and ditched him somewhere.  They kept trying to flirt with me, and touch me, and invite me home with them and stuff, but it was confusing, and I wasn't sure if they were taking a piss with me as well or if they were sincere.  I was mostly just awkward and tried to avoid them. 

At some point, my friend went missing, and I was worried because he was sick somehow, and also during this, my GF broke up with me somehow (phone? idk), and I was alone and upset, and finally agreed to go somewhere with the women, because they were the only people I was familiar with.

Then I woke up.

There was more to both of those.  I forgot to hit post on Friday, (left work early, trying to cope with depression) so I am posting this now.

I think I had more to write, but I've forgotten.

poisonedgrace: (Default)
 Last night, I dreamed about visiting some friends at their house.  I don't think these are people I know IRL.  They showed me around the place, and part of the tour was their bedroom, where they showed me a huge pile of snakes in the bed, that they snuggle with at night.  I recognized most of them, a generic mix of pythons and boas, but one of them looked odd, from what I could see of the tangle.  I asked about it, and they told me it was a rattlesnake.  I admonished them for being so careless with a dangerous animal, and told them that things like this are the reason why laws get passed to outlaw ownership of snakes in general.  I convinced them to get a tank with a secure locking top for the rattlesnake, at the very least, if not all the others.  

That dream sort of shifted when I left there.  I was in a car with some other friends (again, not people I know IRL, as near as I can tell).  I was a kid, and we were supposed to be driving back home, and the guy driving kept complaining about how tiring it was even though it had only been like an hour.  He drove up some wooden ramps, and across some scaffolding, then across the roofs of some buildings, down a wire, and back to the road.  After all that, he was just too tired to go on, even though the entire drive was only supposed to be 3 or 4 hours.  They decided to stop at a hotel place.

I went outside at night, and looked around some, and somehow, it seemed vaguely familiar, then I remembered that I had stayed here a couple of years ago for some reason, and during that time, I had met a time traveling version of myself.  So I went looking around, to see if I could find my younger self, because maybe _I_ was the time traveling version of myself right now.  I went to some area where I remembered having met myself, and waited, and sure enough, a few years ago, there I was.  I went and tried to say all the exact same things that I remembered saying before, and it seemed to work.  

Satisfied with myself, I turned to go, only to be confronted with another future version of myself.  He told me all kinds of things, and made some calls, and got me admitted into a closed museum for some reason, and I had all this stuff I was supposed to do.  There was some grand purpose for it all, and something about a place across the street which seems to have been some sort of community center with a swimming pool, and I'm not sure what it was all about, but
there was a lot going on.

In other news.  Trying a band-aid gamble for coping with last week's life shitting the bed issues.  Don't know how it will turn out, but best case scenario, I will have exactly enough money to be able to eat ramen noodles for the next 10 months.  After that, luck and the universe willing, things should be a whole lot better.  Worst case scenario, I will not be able to have enough money to continue to live at all. lol.

Crossing fingers and hoping for the best.

In Other Other news... This weekend largely the same as last.  Can still see the subterranean fireworks often on edge of boiling out into life.  Keep hoping to be done with that waiting for the shoe to drop feeling, but rather than abate, it continues to be reinforced by life.  

So, I guess the waiting continues.

Got a little bit done towards my cleaning goals this weekend, before my neck and back wouldn't allow anything more.  Still paying for it today.  Frustrating to not be able to do more, but going to be more frustrating to reverse the progress that all these Dr visits have made, so I guess there's an obvious choice.

Really hoping this week is better than last!

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