I started writing this elsewhere, but it ended up being so completely on point with everything that I am feeling today, that I figured I might as well put it here.
The scale is comparing all the things that you wouldn't HAVE to do, against all the things that you wouldn't GET to do.
The side that weighs in with heavier importance is the one that wins.
For me, right now, the pile of things that I will ever get to do feels very light and comparatively useless looking.
I am trying to retain a grip on positivity, scale, and scope, but I have to admit, I am truly struggling with it at the moment.
Apr. 27th, 2017
At this moment, I feel like there isn't much good anywhere in the world, and like everything is pretty much pointless. I feel too old for the bother of struggling.
I feel like nothing is really going well, in any aspect of my life, and that frankly, nothing will ever change. What's the point? Why continue the pattern any longer? Something always seems to get in the way of everything I could ever want. It always has, and seems to continue. Something seems to always prevent me from any dreams that I may dare to come up with.
Whether it's people not acting right, finances, physical health, emotional / mental health, depression, or just the system of society & capitalism being awful and unlivable for poor people, etc etc.
Honestly, what is the point in keeping on with it? The dangling carrot of "maybe some day"? It's not good enough any more.