Jan. 12th, 2017

poisonedgrace: (Default)
Last night was dreams about a crappy family reunion (I have these every so often, it's one of my recurring bad dream themes, like all the school dreams, and the accidentally driving over a cliff dreams, and the alien invasion dreams). At this one, I had to engage in some weird competitive yoga / wrestling sort of event, and the guy I had to go up against was some intense musclebound WWF / Rob Lefield super hero reject. He was all awful and oily. Then, when I was trying to leave the place, a bunch of 'family members' decided to take a sudden interest (read as "get nosy") about my life. I don't remember too many more details.

I keep dreaming about you. Different scenarios. Different situations. Other worlds. Other futures.
Silent Rapture. Sore feet, fallen leaves and the smell of distant burning. My heart roams somewhere damp, with the cacophony of ancient forests filling my head. Give me a few million dollars and see how fast and drastic my life changes. I would leave this ugly city behind in a heartbeat. I used to think I would stay. My love/hate for the place keeping me going. But it's grown into a tumor. I only stay because of work, family and an inability to make drastic changes without those two systems in place. But I've moved on spiritually. Give me a new live, and I could be gone with no qualms. I'd buy a chunk of the forest, and spend my time learning and creating. If I had tons of money, on top of that dream, I would open a movie theater. This place would feel best as a place I visit sometimes from a newer, better, happier life.

But instead, I will work every day until I am old and die with no real changes to the patterns.

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